STUDENT SUBMITTED STORY: My junior year of college I needed to take a 200 level philosophy class to satisfy my university’s core curriculum requirements. My teacher, who had recently been introduced to her first tiny bit of fame from publishing a book chronicling the UN sanctions imposed on Iraq in the years prior to the Iraq War, would ramble on for the entire 2 and a half hour lecture every Wednesday about some barely relevant human rights issue that she choose.One week it would be Nuremberg Trials, the next the Geneva Convention; apartheid; AIDS; Nicaraguan property rights; and then, submarine warfare during WWII. Professor G: Under the widely understood rules of engagement during WWII it became routine for submarines to sink battleships and destroyers and not resurface to hunt for survivors. In the ensuing treaty negotiations the issue of submarine warfare become a topic both the Allies and Axis had little interest in discussing as both had committed atrocities on their respective sides. Must we not therefore hold ourselves equally responsible for human rights violations in wartime just as the Germans themselves argued during their defense in the trials at Nuremberg. (At this point she is basically grinning from ear to ear, as she has somehow, miraculously, managed to relate her ramblings from today’s class to lass week’s seemingly acid-induced lecture) Me: “Professor, I have read that WWII era submarines, operating at standard depth-charge depth would take a minimum of two hours to surface. By that point, most of the survivors would have drowned having sustained serious injuries; the men on fire in the burning gasoline and oil would have been, at the luckiest, permanently scarred; and most likely another ship would have responded to the sunken ship’s distress call. If you’re stupid enough to surface to look for survivors with a destroyer eying you down you deserve to get blown out of the water. Professor G: …… Okay.
Student submitted Story: After moving to a new school my freshman year of high school, I had the privilege to endure a brand new teacher’s first attempt at social studies. First order of business, she proceeded to inform the class about Canada’s national capitol Toronto. Apparently, I was the only one in the class smart enough to explain she was wrong, the national capitol was in fact Ottawa. We argued for close to 20 minutes over, what I thought, was a well known fact. Finally, exasperated, I pulled out the social studies textbook and showed her where it says the national capitol is Ottawa and Toronto is the capitol of Ontario. She saved face by saying that was “stupid”. I thought that would be the final argument for the day but I was wrong. Promptly, she began talking about Canada’s national sport being Hockey. I sighed and again confronted her. Hockey is not our national sport, it is Lacrosse. Again, an argument ensued. I only let it go on for about 10 minutes this time, then promptly opened up old faithful textbook to reveal she was, in fact, wrong. again. Of course this time she couldn’t let me win and announced that if anyone answered on a test that Hockey was the national sport, she would mark them correct.
Student submitted: Well played. These guys are lucky they didn’t get the other teacher in serious trouble……and themselves sued. Definitely a point awarded to the students.
The following story occurred when I was a senior in highs school.Some back story to preface the hilarity. I sat in the back row next to a fellow class clown of mine. This class was notoriously rowdy and out of control, and we would often torture substitutes who were filling in for our primary teacher, who I presume was taking work off instead of coming and murdering us instead. At some point during the begging of the class, my classmates pick-pocketed the cellphone of a girl from her purse and proceeded to pass it back to me to “do something funny with it.” I decided to download a sex ringtone on the phone (which is only a woman’s moans during intercourse and climax), and turn the volume to max. I then passed the phone to my buddy who stashed it behind a book in the bookshelf behind us. Repeatedly throughout the class, we would continue to call the phone and enjoy our classmates laughter at the highly inappropriate sexual noises. Our substitute was wildly incompetent and at first thought it was us impersonating a woman making these noises. After about the 6th time, she eventually walked back between both of our desks and demanded that we hand “our video games over.” We showed her our empty hands and with a stone face, told her the teacher in the adjacent room (behind ours) has a habit of watching adult movies loudly during his lunch break (which was so ridiculous, I thought she wouldn’t buy it and our fun would be over). Surprisingly, this was a suitable explanation for her. She then proceeded to call the main office to levy a formal complaint against this teacher, as we continued to call the phone. The following day, our primary teacher returned furious and gave me and some others detention. Worth it.
Student submitted: So my step-mom was a teacher of middle school history, and one day, I was watching tv and I heard my stepsister ask “Mom? A third of a cup and a third of a cup make two thirds of a cup, right?” by the way, she was 20 at the time and a straight A student. To this, my stepmom replies “Haha, don’t be silly, it makes one ninth” I held in my laughter as best I could
Student submitted Story: During my first semester at college I was forced to sit through an intro to sport and exercise class. My teacher was always so preachy about why sport psychology and namely she was the best thing since… well, anything.So a few weeks into the class she begins one of her preachy rants by illustrating the glass perception test. I am a devout optimist and so I was a little peeved when she began painting those who see the glass as half-full as idealists and ‘head in the clouds’ type people not worthy of taking seriously. She went on to illustrate pessimists as pragmatists and intellectuals of the highest order. I raised my hand.
Me: I am confused.
Teacher: About what?
Me: well the glass is representative of reality correct?
Teacher: yes of course.
Me: so if the glass is representative of reality, then how we as individuals choose to perceive it does not change the glass. If I say the glass is half-full that does not change the fact that the glass is half way full. Likewise, if I said the glass is half-empty, the glass will not lose volume. SO in reality, our perception changes nothing about reality, only how we perceive it, meaning neither viewpoints are ‘realistic’ in any sense.
Teacher: um you are absolutely right. (awkward silence) Lets move on then………
Kids 2 – Teachers 0