A kid did something to my computer?

Teacher: IT Guy, I really need your help.  I’m freaking out.

IT Guy: What’s the matter?

Teacher: A kid did something to my computer and now it won’t turn on.

IT Guy: Oh Yeah

Teacher:  I don’t need any of your smart talk.  I tried to fix it and there is something seriously wrong. Can you come down here and not make any rude remarks?

IT Guy: I guess I can try.

Teacher: Hurry!

(arrive 12.8 seconds later)

IT Guy: Despite the deviant kids best efforts I think I have restored your computer.

Teacher: What did you do?

IT Guy: I pushed the power button on the monitor

Teacher: Are your serious? You are going to put this on your blog aren’t you?

IT Guy: As soon as I get back to my office.

Too Much SPAM

I just got a call from a teacher in regard to the amount of SPAM she has been receiving. There are a couple important details I would like to convey before relaying the story.

1. We are out of school.  She took the time during summer break to check her SPAM levels and place a call.
2. Not only did she take the time to make this call.  She did it first thing in the morning.   Almost like she was waiting for me to arrive at work.
3. We host our email through Google. A nice little company who, In my opinion, does a very good job handling SPAM.  You may have heard of them.

Teacher: Hi IT Guy, I have been getting a ton more SPAM in email than usual
IT Guy:  You have?

Teacher: Yeah, there has been a ton.  Has anyone else had that issue?
IT Guy: Nope

Teacher: That’s weird
IT Guy: Did you give out your email anywhere?

Teacher: No, I never do
IT Guy: Are you looking at ALL MAIL instead of your INBOX?

Teacher: No, I am looking at the SPAM folder?
IT Guy: WHAT? Why are you looking at that?  That’s where SPAM is suppose to goThat is why they call it a SPAM FOLDER!

Teacher: I always look at it.  Usually there is only one a day.  But the last couple days I have had 3 or so
IT Guy: Yeah…..SPAM folders are fun to look at.  So let me get this straight, you routinely count the amount of junk messages in your SPAM folder, found an increase, and took the time to call me about it?

Teacher: Yeah, do you think it’s ok?
IT Guy: Hard to be sure.  I will contact the FBI, you better call the Secret Service.  I don’t know who is sending these dastardly emails directly to your SPAM folder but I will not rest until I find the culprit.  So, for my notes……you said it was 3 emails PER DAY?

Teacher: Yeah, 3
IT Guy: I’m on it. (CLICK)

The Power of “Need”

Based on my interactions, it appears teachers have a faith-like belief in the “Power of Need” similar to the “Force” in Star Wars.  I could tell a teacher something as simple and straightforward as “the internet is down and unfortunately you can not get online at the moment” or “sorry, but due to the power outage you can not use your computer at this time”.  In their minds facts such as these are no match for the Power of Need. Almost without exception, teachers will counter with “but I really NEED to check my email” or ” but I really NEED to work on my test”.  As far as I can tell, they seriously believe that if they decide they NEED something enough it will materialize.  The other possibility is that they think I shut off the power grid for the city in an effort to prevent them from checking their email for Borders Coupons.  This is actually a strong possibility because more than a few of the teachers I’ve encountered seem to think that they are the center of the Universe and/or their respective classes are the foundation for which all academia is built.  I have many examples to illustrate the Power of Need……here is one from last week.

 

Teacher:  IT Guy, the copy machine is out of staples

IT Guy: I know, unfortuantely there was a problem with the shipment.  They won’t be here till tomorrow.

Teacher: But I really NEED them now

IT Guy: Sorry, but we don’t have any

Teacher: But I NEED them for an exam that I NEED to give today

IT Guy: I don’t know what you want me to do

Teacher: The exam is very important.  It counts for 15% of their grade and I really NEED to get this done

IT Guy: Oh, I didn’t know how much you NEEDED the staples.  Here, take the three cartridges I have been hiding in my pocket for the last two days so I could listen to you people incessantly whine about your NEED for staples.

How do they get these jobs?

Story submitted by another IT Guy.  He feels my pain.

Teacher: The computer is dark, and wont come on. What is wrong?

IT Guy: Do you see any lights on the computer?

Teacher: No, what do I do?

IT Guy: Turn it on?

Teacher: Okay, that fixed it, thanks!

You have me hooked in to your gmail

Secretary: You have me hooked in to your Gmail.

IT Guy: What?
Secretary: How can I get in to mine?
IT Guy: You have to log me out then log yourself in
Secretary: That won’t work, I had Pete help me, we can’t find it
IT Guy: Try harder (click)

Secretary arrives in my office 5 minutes later with a pad of paper and pen

Secretary: I can’t figure it out.  Can you show me how to do it.
IT Guy: Why do you have a pad of paper?  You click SIGN OUT in the upper right corner
Secretary while writng: Ok, let’s see upper right corner…….Sign Out…..then what.
IT: YOU SIGN IN!
Secretary: Ok, with what…….?
IT:  YOUR LOGIN?
Secretary: Oh, ok…..with mine…….