How do they get these jobs?

Story submitted by another IT Guy.  He feels my pain.

Teacher: The computer is dark, and wont come on. What is wrong?

IT Guy: Do you see any lights on the computer?

Teacher: No, what do I do?

IT Guy: Turn it on?

Teacher: Okay, that fixed it, thanks!

You have me hooked in to your gmail

Secretary: You have me hooked in to your Gmail.

IT Guy: What?
Secretary: How can I get in to mine?
IT Guy: You have to log me out then log yourself in
Secretary: That won’t work, I had Pete help me, we can’t find it
IT Guy: Try harder (click)

Secretary arrives in my office 5 minutes later with a pad of paper and pen

Secretary: I can’t figure it out.  Can you show me how to do it.
IT Guy: Why do you have a pad of paper?  You click SIGN OUT in the upper right corner
Secretary while writng: Ok, let’s see upper right corner…….Sign Out…..then what.
IT: YOU SIGN IN!
Secretary: Ok, with what…….?
IT:  YOUR LOGIN?
Secretary: Oh, ok…..with mine…….

I’m pretty sure Teachers blatantly ignore me

IT Guy: If I switch over the grading system teachers’ gradebooks will be unavailable for the rest of the day.  Are you OK with that?

Teacher: Yep

IT Guy: Are you sure?  None of the teachers will be able to make any changes till tomorrow? You are cool with that?  I can not switch it back till tomorrow.

Teacher:  Yep, no problem.

IT Guy: Ok, I will make the switch.

(12 minutes later the phone rings)

Teacher: I am trying to access my gradebooks and it said they are not available.  What’s wrong??????

IT Guy: Are your serious?  We just had this converstation like 10 minutes ago. 

Teacher: We did?  How come I can’t see my gradebooks?

IT Guy: I turned them off. I JUST TOLD YOU THAT!

Teacher: Oh, can you turn them back on? 

IT Guy: No

Teacher: But, I NEED them now.

IT Guy: I told you can not do that until tomorrow and you said it was fine.

Teacher: But I didn’t need them then……now I do.

IT Guy: My apologies.  I don’t think I did a very good job explaining this to you the first time.  Tell you what, grab some colored chalk and meet me in room 205. I will see if I can diagram the meaning of “Stupid” and “NO” for you in pictures. (Click)

Another Example of the Power of Need

Another example of a teacher deploying the Power of Need:

Teacher: Do you know if the summer school gradebooks and class pages will be available soon?

IT Guy: I can’t upload those until the schedule for next year is complete.  I will send them out as soon as I can.

Teacher: When will that be?

IT Guy: Not sure.  Ask the schedule person.

Teacher: Ok.  But I really NEED to work on those class pages

IT Guy: Gotcha.  Ask the scheduling person. I can’t do it till they are finished.

Teacher: Ok. But do you think the schedule will be done soon.

IT Guy:  I have no idea.  Ask the scheduling person.

Teacher: I will but I just really NEED to get a head start.  Let me tell you why….

IT Guy: No.  Don’t tell me why….it is entirely moot.  I can not do anything until the schedule is done.  The amount of NEED is entirely irrelevant. We have gone over this three times.

Teacher:  But you don’t understand.  Let me tell you why I NEED them.

IT Guy:  NO!  It has no bearing on you getting them.  At this moment the options are not having classes next year or you having your stupid class pages three weeks in advance so you can add ridiculous animated pictures of Einstein blowing himself up.  Essentially, we would destroy our school to save you the 2.4 minutes it takes to add those stupid animations.  Try medication instead.

A kid did something to my computer?

Teacher: IT Guy, I really need your help.  I’m freaking out.

IT Guy: What’s the matter?

Teacher: A kid did something to my computer and now it won’t turn on.

IT Guy: Oh Yeah

Teacher:  I don’t need any of your smart talk.  I tried to fix it and there is something seriously wrong. Can you come down here and not make any rude remarks?

IT Guy: I guess I can try.

Teacher: Hurry!

(arrive 12.8 seconds later)

IT Guy: Despite the deviant kids best efforts I think I have restored your computer.

Teacher: What did you do?

IT Guy: I pushed the power button on the monitor

Teacher: Are your serious? You are going to put this on your blog aren’t you?

IT Guy: As soon as I get back to my office.