The Computer should be able to do that – #1

I have a whole series of coming entries where a person that struggles to turn on their computer will suggest that “the computer should be able to do that”.  Here is the first entry:

Secretary: I need to create a report from our school database to automatically create subs for teachers that are out sick

IT Guy: Sorry, our program can not do that

Secretary: Why not?

IT Guy: What do you mean……why not? It wasn’t built that way

Secretary: What if I give you this spreadsheet I printed out

IT Guy: Oh, that will help.  Let me jam it into the CD ROM ………hit the eat button…….. and now the computer is digesting the paper………processing……and there we go………we now have a sub scheduling program.

Secretary: You are an ass.

IT Guy: Yep

 

Amazing Remote Login Question

A cell phone call I received at home….

Teacher: IT Guy, I’m having trouble logging in at home.

IT Guy: Ok, I will reset your password…….try it now.

Teacher: Nope.

IT Guy: Let me try it.  I just logged you in……works fine.

Teacher: Oh, good……let me try.  No still can’t get in.

IT Guy: Did you put the password in?

Teacher: No, you said you logged me in?

IT Guy: WHAT?  I CAN’T LOGIN YOU IN FROM MY HOUSE.  YOU HAVE TO TYPE IT IN.

Teacher: Oh, I thought you said you logged me in?

IT Guy: Good luck…..(click)

Teaching the Teacher about Canada

Student submitted Story: After moving to a new school my freshman year of high school, I had the privilege to endure a brand new teacher’s first attempt at social studies. First order of business, she proceeded to inform the class about Canada’s national capitol Toronto. Apparently, I was the only one in the class smart enough to explain she was wrong, the national capitol was in fact Ottawa. We argued for close to 20 minutes over, what I thought, was a well known fact. Finally, exasperated, I pulled out the social studies textbook and showed her where it says the national capitol is Ottawa and Toronto is the capitol of Ontario. She saved face by saying that was “stupid”. I thought that would be the final argument for the day but I was wrong. Promptly, she began talking about Canada’s national sport being Hockey. I sighed and again confronted her. Hockey is not our national sport, it is Lacrosse. Again, an argument ensued. I only let it go on for about 10 minutes this time, then promptly opened up old faithful textbook to reveal she was, in fact, wrong. again. Of course this time she couldn’t let me win and announced that if anyone answered on a test that Hockey was the national sport, she would mark them correct. 

Teachers Strike Back

Teacher submitted Story:While I empathize with the trials of an IT support person to handle the idiocies of faculty from the other side of the digital divide, I must say it is not just teachers who posses the unique power to test the patience of those of us who happen to know where the power button is located. Without further ado, my best “I fear for the future” stories:

 

1. Student: “Why do we have to double space? It looks hella bad.”
    Me: Why are you putting two spaces between each word?


2. Student: (very seriously)what kind of car did Shakespeare drive? (she was 15)


3. Student: My links in PowerPoint won’t click.
    Me: Did you remember to press -enter- after?


4. Upon working in a classroom next to a cell phone jammer, the kids freaked out:
Kid: (bangs cell phone against desk)
Other kid:is this a terrorist attack.

 

So teachers+ kids= 🙁

……and the teachers are on the board.

Students 2 – Teachers-1