A Gift from a Teacher

Teacher: Did you get the present I left you?
IT Guy: I’m scared to ask……what present?

Teacher: The two old VCRs and broken computer stuff I left in your office
IT Guy: OH!  You’re the person who left the broken garbage in my office.

Teacher: yeah, I though you would want them
IT Guy: FOR WHAT?  

Teacher: I don’t know…..
IT Guy:  My office is not a garbage dump (actually it is…..see previous post)

Teacher: I thought I was doing you a favor
IT Guy: You thought cleaning all the old, broken shit from your room and dumping it in my office when I am not there is helping me?  I’m all set all favors. 

Teacher: Fine.

Lunch Time Door Game

I believe that teachers absolutely can not stand the sight of a closed door.  I’m not sure if they feel like they can go anywhere they want because they are a teacher or if it’s a genuine sickness but I have learned to enjoy the phenomenom.  My favorite is when I don’t answer the knocks, a teacher busts in the door and when I ask them if they need help they say “no, I’m all set”. These instances led me to create the Lunch Time Door Game.

Rules:

  1. Close the door to your office – preferably while eating lunch
  2. Do not answer any knocks
  3. See how many people open the door despite not being invited

Scoring:
Points are awarded based on the reason for entry and how many knocks.

  1. Legit IT emergency – No points becaue you are being a jerk
  2. Copy Machine issue – 5 points
  3. Petty IT issue – 7 points
  4. Anything that could wait till next week – 10 points
  5. No reason to open door – the golden goose of the Lunch Time Door Game – 25 points

Knock bonus points::
Add one point for each knock before entering

 

My best day was 3 entries:

  • 1 Copy Machine issue (5 points)
  • 1 Petty IT Issue ( 7 points)
  • A No Reason! ( 25 points)

The copy machine and petty IT issue were 0 knocks but the No Reason was 4 knocks!

High Score: 41 points.

 

Will our new webpage work?

Teacher: Hi, I just wanted to check that our new group web page will work

IT Guy: What do you mean work?

Teacher: On the system?

IT Guy: The system?

Teacher: Yeah, our new web page

IT Guy: What are we talking about?

Teacher: I want to know if our webpage will work at school?

IT Guy: Are you asking me if you can view a webpage at school?

Teacher: yes…..our new one.

IT Guy: Yes.  We have internet access.

Teacher: Great!

IT vs the Volunteers

 

Volunteer:  I need to install some software – can you do it? 

IT Guy: Actually, I’m kind of busy….can you just throw it into your CD ROM and keep clicking next

Volunteer: I don’t know…….I guess I can try

IT Guy: Thanks…..you are very brave

Volunteer: Ok, I’ll call you back when I’m in front of the computer

IT Guy: But….why?

**CLICK***


Volunteerr: Ok, I am in front of the computer.

IT Guy: Great, put the disk in

Volunteer:  I can’t find the computer

IT Guy: What do you mean?  You just said you were in front of it.

Volunteer: I am but I can’t see the hard drive.

IT Guy: Can’t see the hard drive, huh?  How bout that?   Did you look on the floor.

Volunteer: I sure did and on the desk.

IT Guy: Good thinking.  Ok, well there is a three foot cord connecting the monitor to it.  Can you circle the machine in a three foot circumference till you step on it.

Volunteer: No

IT: Of course not, I’ll be right there.


**************************


Volunteer: I think someone might have moved the computer

IT Guy: Actually, it’s right here.  The monitor is sitting on top of i

Volunteer: Oh, that is the computer

IT guy: It sure is…..you giant idiot.  Just throw the CD in it and hit next

Volunteer: Where does the CD go?

IT Guy:  Why don’t I just do it?  You probably won’t be able to find the next button either


 


 

Following Directions

The Directions

If a student is exempt from the Final Exam leave the two astericks in the cell and the exam will not be calcualated into their Final Grade

Teacher: Ok, my grades are in

IT Guy: Congratulations

Teacher: I think I did them all right

IT Guy: You are so kind

Teacher: Is it OK that I put an X in the Final Exam column for exempt students?

IT Guy: No, you are suppose to leave the astericks. Did you see the directions?

Teacher: Yeah.  But I like the X’s

IT Guy: Are you serious?

Teacher: Why can’t I put an X?

IT Guy: I have no idea, that is how the software was made.  Why does it matter?

Teacher: I like X. It means exempt.

IT Guy: Actually it means the kid got an X on his Final Exam.  Additionally, why does X mean exempt?  Why not EX?

Teacher: X is faster.

IT Guy: It sure is.  You are genius!

Teacher: So should I change it back?  Or should we just see it works?

IT Guy: Unless you want to explain to the parents why their Final Grades are algebraic expressions please follow the directions without editing them for efficiency and/or stupidity.