The Power of “Need”

Based on my interactions, it appears teachers have a faith-like belief in the “Power of Need” similar to the “Force” in Star Wars.  I could tell a teacher something as simple and straightforward as “the internet is down and unfortunately you can not get online at the moment” or “sorry, but due to the power outage you can not use your computer at this time”.  In their minds facts such as these are no match for the Power of Need. Almost without exception, teachers will counter with “but I really NEED to check my email” or ” but I really NEED to work on my test”.  As far as I can tell, they seriously believe that if they decide they NEED something enough it will materialize.  The other possibility is that they think I shut off the power grid for the city in an effort to prevent them from checking their email for Borders Coupons.  This is actually a strong possibility because more than a few of the teachers I’ve encountered seem to think that they are the center of the Universe and/or their respective classes are the foundation for which all academia is built.  I have many examples to illustrate the Power of Need……here is one from last week.

 

Teacher:  IT Guy, the copy machine is out of staples

IT Guy: I know, unfortuantely there was a problem with the shipment.  They won’t be here till tomorrow.

Teacher: But I really NEED them now

IT Guy: Sorry, but we don’t have any

Teacher: But I NEED them for an exam that I NEED to give today

IT Guy: I don’t know what you want me to do

Teacher: The exam is very important.  It counts for 15% of their grade and I really NEED to get this done

IT Guy: Oh, I didn’t know how much you NEEDED the staples.  Here, take the three cartridges I have been hiding in my pocket for the last two days so I could listen to you people incessantly whine about your NEED for staples.

Amazing Remote Login Question

A cell phone call I received at home….

Teacher: IT Guy, I’m having trouble logging in at home.

IT Guy: Ok, I will reset your password…….try it now.

Teacher: Nope.

IT Guy: Let me try it.  I just logged you in……works fine.

Teacher: Oh, good……let me try.  No still can’t get in.

IT Guy: Did you put the password in?

Teacher: No, you said you logged me in?

IT Guy: WHAT?  I CAN’T LOGIN YOU IN FROM MY HOUSE.  YOU HAVE TO TYPE IT IN.

Teacher: Oh, I thought you said you logged me in?

IT Guy: Good luck…..(click)

Final Exams

When you create a Final Exam column in our online gradebooks you are prompted to enter the semester in which the exam grade should apply.  There are three options “1, 2 and Y”.  If the exam goes with the first semester you type 1, if it is second semester you type 2.  The “Y” is for “Yes”.  I have no clue what the “Y” is for but the teachers for whatever reason are enamored with it.

Teacher: Hey IT Guy, just wanted to confirm that when I put in the exam I choose “Yes”, correct?

IT Guy: No, why would you choose “Yes”.  What are you agreeing to?
Teacher: The Final

IT Guy: You think your gradebook is asking you to agree to a Final?
Teacher: Yes.

IT Guy: Well it’s not.  If you read the question that you are answering in the affirmative you would see it asks you which Semester this Exam applies.  Essentially your dialogue went like this” Which semester does this Exam apply to.” “Yes”
Teacher: Oh, so what is the answer?

IT Guy: Which semester are we in?
Teacher: Oh. Fourth.
IT Guy: We don’t have a fourth semester
Teacher: Oh yeah.  Sorry, second.
IT Guy: Great job.

 

VCR and the Regurgitated Food Spot

Student: Can you come down, Mrs. ***** needs help
IT Guy: Is it 10am already?  Ok.
Teacher: I need the VCR to work
IT Guy: Did you turn it on?
Teacher: I tried
IT Guy: And?
Teacher: I’m not going to be here tomorrow
IT Guy: What does that have to do with anything?
Teacher: I want to make sure it works
IT Guy: IS IT ON?
Teacher: I don’t know
IT Guy: (Pushes on button) It was off
Teacher: What did you push?
IT Guy: The ON button
Teacher: Oh, I thought it was this smudge here?  See?
IT Guy: You thought that smudge was the ON button?  For real?
Teacher: Yeah, it looks like a button
IT Guy: No it doesn’t.  It looks someone spit up chewed potato chips on it.  Why would you even touch that?
Teacher: Well you fixed it.  You have the magical touch
IT Guy: I just turned it on.
Teacher: Thanks again for fixing it
IT Guy: Ok. Next time hit the ON button instead of the regurgitated food spot.