Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.

VCR and the Regurgitated Food Spot

Student: Can you come down, Mrs. ***** needs help
IT Guy: Is it 10am already?  Ok.
Teacher: I need the VCR to work
IT Guy: Did you turn it on?
Teacher: I tried
IT Guy: And?
Teacher: I’m not going to be here tomorrow
IT Guy: What does that have to do with anything?
Teacher: I want to make sure it works
IT Guy: IS IT ON?
Teacher: I don’t know
IT Guy: (Pushes on button) It was off
Teacher: What did you push?
IT Guy: The ON button
Teacher: Oh, I thought it was this smudge here?  See?
IT Guy: You thought that smudge was the ON button?  For real?
Teacher: Yeah, it looks like a button
IT Guy: No it doesn’t.  It looks someone spit up chewed potato chips on it.  Why would you even touch that?
Teacher: Well you fixed it.  You have the magical touch
IT Guy: I just turned it on.
Teacher: Thanks again for fixing it
IT Guy: Ok. Next time hit the ON button instead of the regurgitated food spot.

Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy

Help Desk Ticket #1

 

Caller: Mrs. V’s computer will not shut down and she was wondering if someone could come take a look at it.

 

Support: Did you try pushing the power button?

 

Caller: No, let me do that………………….the screen went black but it’s still making noise.

 

Support: Did you push the monitor power button or on the tower?

 

Caller: The screen.

 

Support: Please try the power button on the Tower.

 

Caller:  That did it.  Thanks for fixing it.