You have me hooked in to your gmail

Secretary: You have me hooked in to your Gmail.

IT Guy: What?
Secretary: How can I get in to mine?
IT Guy: You have to log me out then log yourself in
Secretary: That won’t work, I had Pete help me, we can’t find it
IT Guy: Try harder (click)

Secretary arrives in my office 5 minutes later with a pad of paper and pen

Secretary: I can’t figure it out.  Can you show me how to do it.
IT Guy: Why do you have a pad of paper?  You click SIGN OUT in the upper right corner
Secretary while writng: Ok, let’s see upper right corner…….Sign Out…..then what.
IT: YOU SIGN IN!
Secretary: Ok, with what…….?
IT:  YOUR LOGIN?
Secretary: Oh, ok…..with mine…….

The Computer should be able to do that – #1

I have a whole series of coming entries where a person that struggles to turn on their computer will suggest that “the computer should be able to do that”.  Here is the first entry:

Secretary: I need to create a report from our school database to automatically create subs for teachers that are out sick

IT Guy: Sorry, our program can not do that

Secretary: Why not?

IT Guy: What do you mean……why not? It wasn’t built that way

Secretary: What if I give you this spreadsheet I printed out

IT Guy: Oh, that will help.  Let me jam it into the CD ROM ………hit the eat button…….. and now the computer is digesting the paper………processing……and there we go………we now have a sub scheduling program.

Secretary: You are an ass.

IT Guy: Yep

 

The case of the crazy pop ups

Phone call….

Teacher: “IT Guy, whenever I try to send an email all kinds of weird things pop-up”

IT Guy: “I don’t know what that means”

Teacher: “Just stuff, things pop-up……on the screen. Ya know what I’m saying”

IT Guy: “No, I haven’t a clue”

Teacher: “Oh wait, I think I got it.  I’ll call you back if there are any more problems.

IT Guy: “Ok, good luck sending your email”

Phone Call 2….

Teacher: “Hi IT Guy, it’s me again”

IT Guy: “I can read”

Teacher: “Those things are popping up again…..can you come look?”

IT Guy: “I’d love too.”

Arrival…….

Teacher: “Oh, hi”

IT Guy: “Why are you surprised?  You invited me down here”

Teacher: “Oh yeah!  Here watch……begins typing email to xxxxx@gmail – as she types the first three letters “things” start popping up:
1.            screen refreshes
2.            bookmarks appear on left side of screen
3.            print option box appears

See IT Guy!  What is the issue?

IT Guy: “To be honest I have never seen anything like this before but my best guess is that perhaps the GIANT binder you have placed on your keyboard is perhaps holding down the “Ctrl” key along with most of the alphabet.

Teacher: Oh, that’s it!  You are so smart IT Guy!

IT Guy: “hahaha….yeah……you’re not. Try not to burn the building down when you attach your document to the email.  Bye!”

 

Invalid Date

Teacher: I’ve been trying for the last 15 minutes to get Microsoft Access to accept a date and it won’t do it. 

IT Guy: What is the error message?

Teacher: It says “Invalid Date”

IT Guy: Are you using a valid date?

Teacher:  Of course, I checked it 10 times to be sure.  I am typing the exact date I was given by the student. There must be something wrong with the program.

IT Guy: Ok, I’ll come look

Walks down to teacher lounge….

IT Guy: I think the problem is that you made up a date that doesn’t exist.  February 31st is not a real date.  It never has or for that matter ever will be.

Teacher: Oh!  I was just making up dates.

IT Guy: Yes you were.   I thought you were inputting the exact date from a sheet?

Teacher:  No, I just made it up.

IT Guy: yeah…….good job with that.