Gmail Debacle Update

Secretary: How do I setup my printers in gmail?

IT: You can't setup printers in gmail….besides I already set it up
Secretary: It says print to Laserjet 3 – that's not my printer
IT: yes it is
Secretary: No it's not, I already tried it several times 
IT: Do it again
Secretary: Ok, see it doesn't…..oh there it goes.  What did you do?
IT: (Click)

Teachers are Pack Animals

In my time working at a school I have discovered that teachers are for the most part pack animals. Everything they do is in some sort of little group.  This is evidenced by the fact any time a teacher has a computer issue five other people will report it before the person with the actual problem. Sadly, the actual issue the other pack members report is almost never the real problem.  

It usually unfolds something like this:

IT Guy, did you hear Mrs. X is having trouble with their online gradebooks

that usually morphs into something like

IT Guy, Mrs. X can not turn on her computer because she has a virus

followed by the catch all diagnosis

IT Guy, the server must be down

This syndrome reminds of the famous Purple Monkey Dishwasher scene from the Simpsons.

Printer Doesn’t Work

Teacher: “IT Guy, the printer you just installed doesn’t work….what’s wrong?”

IT Guy: “Did you put paper in it?”

Teacher: “Oh, no……I didn’t think of that”

IT Guy: “Of course you didn’t…….why would you when you can run over here and tell me.

The Power of “Need”

Based on my interactions, it appears teachers have a faith-like belief in the “Power of Need” similar to the “Force” in Star Wars.  I could tell a teacher something as simple and straightforward as “the internet is down and unfortunately you can not get online at the moment” or “sorry, but due to the power outage you can not use your computer at this time”.  In their minds facts such as these are no match for the Power of Need. Almost without exception, teachers will counter with “but I really NEED to check my email” or ” but I really NEED to work on my test”.  As far as I can tell, they seriously believe that if they decide they NEED something enough it will materialize.  The other possibility is that they think I shut off the power grid for the city in an effort to prevent them from checking their email for Borders Coupons.  This is actually a strong possibility because more than a few of the teachers I’ve encountered seem to think that they are the center of the Universe and/or their respective classes are the foundation for which all academia is built.  I have many examples to illustrate the Power of Need……here is one from last week.

 

Teacher:  IT Guy, the copy machine is out of staples

IT Guy: I know, unfortuantely there was a problem with the shipment.  They won’t be here till tomorrow.

Teacher: But I really NEED them now

IT Guy: Sorry, but we don’t have any

Teacher: But I NEED them for an exam that I NEED to give today

IT Guy: I don’t know what you want me to do

Teacher: The exam is very important.  It counts for 15% of their grade and I really NEED to get this done

IT Guy: Oh, I didn’t know how much you NEEDED the staples.  Here, take the three cartridges I have been hiding in my pocket for the last two days so I could listen to you people incessantly whine about your NEED for staples.