PE Teacher Explains International Politics

Student submitted Story:  

A bit of background first, essentially this guy was “teaching” class one day when some girl piped up with a question about war and why we would enter into one. This is what he said:

Teacher: “its like this, say a larger country like China started to pick on a smaller country like Puerto Rico. The U.S. would go to war to defend the smaller country.”

Student: Raising my hand. “ummm Puerto Rico is U.S. Territory, if China attacked it we would have to go to war.” 

Teacher:  “Shut up”

Too Much SPAM

I just got a call from a teacher in regard to the amount of SPAM she has been receiving. There are a couple important details I would like to convey before relaying the story.

1. We are out of school.  She took the time during summer break to check her SPAM levels and place a call.
2. Not only did she take the time to make this call.  She did it first thing in the morning.   Almost like she was waiting for me to arrive at work.
3. We host our email through Google. A nice little company who, In my opinion, does a very good job handling SPAM.  You may have heard of them.

Teacher: Hi IT Guy, I have been getting a ton more SPAM in email than usual
IT Guy:  You have?

Teacher: Yeah, there has been a ton.  Has anyone else had that issue?
IT Guy: Nope

Teacher: That’s weird
IT Guy: Did you give out your email anywhere?

Teacher: No, I never do
IT Guy: Are you looking at ALL MAIL instead of your INBOX?

Teacher: No, I am looking at the SPAM folder?
IT Guy: WHAT? Why are you looking at that?  That’s where SPAM is suppose to goThat is why they call it a SPAM FOLDER!

Teacher: I always look at it.  Usually there is only one a day.  But the last couple days I have had 3 or so
IT Guy: Yeah…..SPAM folders are fun to look at.  So let me get this straight, you routinely count the amount of junk messages in your SPAM folder, found an increase, and took the time to call me about it?

Teacher: Yeah, do you think it’s ok?
IT Guy: Hard to be sure.  I will contact the FBI, you better call the Secret Service.  I don’t know who is sending these dastardly emails directly to your SPAM folder but I will not rest until I find the culprit.  So, for my notes……you said it was 3 emails PER DAY?

Teacher: Yeah, 3
IT Guy: I’m on it. (CLICK)

You have me hooked in to your gmail

Secretary: You have me hooked in to your Gmail.

IT Guy: What?
Secretary: How can I get in to mine?
IT Guy: You have to log me out then log yourself in
Secretary: That won’t work, I had Pete help me, we can’t find it
IT Guy: Try harder (click)

Secretary arrives in my office 5 minutes later with a pad of paper and pen

Secretary: I can’t figure it out.  Can you show me how to do it.
IT Guy: Why do you have a pad of paper?  You click SIGN OUT in the upper right corner
Secretary while writng: Ok, let’s see upper right corner…….Sign Out…..then what.
IT: YOU SIGN IN!
Secretary: Ok, with what…….?
IT:  YOUR LOGIN?
Secretary: Oh, ok…..with mine…….

New Printer Not Working

Teacher: “IT Guy, the printer you just installed doesn’t work….what’s wrong?”

IT Guy: “Did you put paper in it?”

Teacher: “Oh, no……I didn’t think of that”

IT Guy: ” Of course you didn’t…….why would you when you can run over here and tell me.

VCR and the Regurgitated Food Spot

Student: Can you come down, Mrs. ***** needs help
IT Guy: Is it 10am already?  Ok.
Teacher: I need the VCR to work
IT Guy: Did you turn it on?
Teacher: I tried
IT Guy: And?
Teacher: I’m not going to be here tomorrow
IT Guy: What does that have to do with anything?
Teacher: I want to make sure it works
IT Guy: IS IT ON?
Teacher: I don’t know
IT Guy: (Pushes on button) It was off
Teacher: What did you push?
IT Guy: The ON button
Teacher: Oh, I thought it was this smudge here?  See?
IT Guy: You thought that smudge was the ON button?  For real?
Teacher: Yeah, it looks like a button
IT Guy: No it doesn’t.  It looks someone spit up chewed potato chips on it.  Why would you even touch that?
Teacher: Well you fixed it.  You have the magical touch
IT Guy: I just turned it on.
Teacher: Thanks again for fixing it
IT Guy: Ok. Next time hit the ON button instead of the regurgitated food spot.