More Final Exam Fun

Here is a story that happened today during teacher checkout.  In our grading system you have to name to your final exam FINAL, in all caps, for it to be recognized by the system.  I don’t feel this is too much ask but apparently I am mistaken.  I think it is important to note that we have had this particular grading program for 5 years now and have discussed the misnaming of the Final Exam in depth.  Incredibly, it has little to no effect.

Teacher: How come my Final exams did not show up on my grade verification sheets?

IT Guy: Did you name the Final Exam column “FINAL”

Teacher: Yep, I did them all the same and it showed up on my other classes.

IT Guy: Fine, I’ll look………………here is the problem.  Despite you adamently defending the fact that you put FINAL in all your columns this one clearly says EXAM.  Why did you decide to do one different than the other?

Teacher:  I don’t think I did.  Not sure how that happened.

IT Guy: Incredible. 

Teacher: Do you want me to redo it?

IT Guy: No, I want to do all your grades myself because you haven’t learned how this program works in the HALF A DECADE we have used it.

Technological Relic

TEACHER: IT Guy, here ya go.
IT GUY: What is that?
TEACHER: It’s an old overhead projector I found in my closet
IT GUY: I don’t want that
TEACHER: Why not?
IT GUY: What the hell am I going to do with it?
TEACHER: This is the IT Office, right?
IT GUY: That is correct. It is NOT a museum. Please take your archaic relic to the nearest museum or, perhaps a better solution, a dumpster
TEACHER: It still works
IT GUY: So do 8-Track players but we finally stopped you from using those last year.
TEACHER: So, can I leave it here?
IT GUY: NO!

Another Final Exam Problem

Teacher: Where are my Final Exams?

IT Guy: I didn’t receive them.  Did you name your column FINAL?

Teacher: Of Course.

IT Guy: Of Course?   I think I will check……(opens up gradebook)

Teacher: See there it is….

IT Guy:  You are correct.  It does say FINAL…unfortunately you decided to add “EX” to the end

Teacher: So what…..it still says FINAL

IT Guy:  IT CAN ONLY SAY FINAL!  You can’t add letters to satisfy some fetish you have to screw things up.

Teacher:  Why does it matter?

IT Guy: I don’t know.  I didn’t build it.  Why is it so hard to follow a set of directions that has 3 steps? I seriously believe you are screwing this up on purpose?  Otherwise your college degree is fake…….

PE Teacher Explains International Politics

Student submitted Story:  

A bit of background first, essentially this guy was “teaching” class one day when some girl piped up with a question about war and why we would enter into one. This is what he said:

Teacher: “its like this, say a larger country like China started to pick on a smaller country like Puerto Rico. The U.S. would go to war to defend the smaller country.”

Student: Raising my hand. “ummm Puerto Rico is U.S. Territory, if China attacked it we would have to go to war.” 

Teacher:  “Shut up”

A kid did something to my computer?

Teacher: IT Guy, I really need your help.  I’m freaking out.

IT Guy: What’s the matter?

Teacher: A kid did something to my computer and now it won’t turn on.

IT Guy: Oh Yeah

Teacher:  I don’t need any of your smart talk.  I tried to fix it and there is something seriously wrong. Can you come down here and not make any rude remarks?

IT Guy: I guess I can try.

Teacher: Hurry!

(arrive 12.8 seconds later)

IT Guy: Despite the deviant kids best efforts I think I have restored your computer.

Teacher: What did you do?

IT Guy: I pushed the power button on the monitor

Teacher: Are your serious? You are going to put this on your blog aren’t you?

IT Guy: As soon as I get back to my office.