IT vs the Volunteers

 

Volunteer:  I need to install some software – can you do it? 

IT Guy: Actually, I’m kind of busy….can you just throw it into your CD ROM and keep clicking next

Volunteer: I don’t know…….I guess I can try

IT Guy: Thanks…..you are very brave

Volunteer: Ok, I’ll call you back when I’m in front of the computer

IT Guy: But….why?

**CLICK***


Volunteerr: Ok, I am in front of the computer.

IT Guy: Great, put the disk in

Volunteer:  I can’t find the computer

IT Guy: What do you mean?  You just said you were in front of it.

Volunteer: I am but I can’t see the hard drive.

IT Guy: Can’t see the hard drive, huh?  How bout that?   Did you look on the floor.

Volunteer: I sure did and on the desk.

IT Guy: Good thinking.  Ok, well there is a three foot cord connecting the monitor to it.  Can you circle the machine in a three foot circumference till you step on it.

Volunteer: No

IT: Of course not, I’ll be right there.


**************************


Volunteer: I think someone might have moved the computer

IT Guy: Actually, it’s right here.  The monitor is sitting on top of i

Volunteer: Oh, that is the computer

IT guy: It sure is…..you giant idiot.  Just throw the CD in it and hit next

Volunteer: Where does the CD go?

IT Guy:  Why don’t I just do it?  You probably won’t be able to find the next button either


 


 

Technological Relic

TEACHER: IT Guy, here ya go.
IT GUY: What is that?
TEACHER: It’s an old overhead projector I found in my closet
IT GUY: I don’t want that
TEACHER: Why not?
IT GUY: What the hell am I going to do with it?
TEACHER: This is the IT Office, right?
IT GUY: That is correct. It is NOT a museum. Please take your archaic relic to the nearest museum or, perhaps a better solution, a dumpster
TEACHER: It still works
IT GUY: So do 8-Track players but we finally stopped you from using those last year.
TEACHER: So, can I leave it here?
IT GUY: NO!

PE Teacher Explains International Politics

Student submitted Story:  

A bit of background first, essentially this guy was “teaching” class one day when some girl piped up with a question about war and why we would enter into one. This is what he said:

Teacher: “its like this, say a larger country like China started to pick on a smaller country like Puerto Rico. The U.S. would go to war to defend the smaller country.”

Student: Raising my hand. “ummm Puerto Rico is U.S. Territory, if China attacked it we would have to go to war.” 

Teacher:  “Shut up”