The Power of “Need”

Based on my interactions, it appears teachers have a faith-like belief in the “Power of Need” similar to the “Force” in Star Wars.  I could tell a teacher something as simple and straightforward as “the internet is down and unfortunately you can not get online at the moment” or “sorry, but due to the power outage you can not use your computer at this time”.  In their minds facts such as these are no match for the Power of Need. Almost without exception, teachers will counter with “but I really NEED to check my email” or ” but I really NEED to work on my test”.  As far as I can tell, they seriously believe that if they decide they NEED something enough it will materialize.  The other possibility is that they think I shut off the power grid for the city in an effort to prevent them from checking their email for Borders Coupons.  This is actually a strong possibility because more than a few of the teachers I’ve encountered seem to think that they are the center of the Universe and/or their respective classes are the foundation for which all academia is built.  I have many examples to illustrate the Power of Need……here is one from last week.

 

Teacher:  IT Guy, the copy machine is out of staples

IT Guy: I know, unfortuantely there was a problem with the shipment.  They won’t be here till tomorrow.

Teacher: But I really NEED them now

IT Guy: Sorry, but we don’t have any

Teacher: But I NEED them for an exam that I NEED to give today

IT Guy: I don’t know what you want me to do

Teacher: The exam is very important.  It counts for 15% of their grade and I really NEED to get this done

IT Guy: Oh, I didn’t know how much you NEEDED the staples.  Here, take the three cartridges I have been hiding in my pocket for the last two days so I could listen to you people incessantly whine about your NEED for staples.

Storage Bin

IT : phone rings* IT this is….

College staff: Someone deleted my trash folder in my email

IT: Yes trashed gets purged every 30days

College staff: But I store my files in there ?!

A Gift from a Teacher

Teacher: Did you get the present I left you?
IT Guy: I’m scared to ask……what present?

Teacher: The two old VCRs and broken computer stuff I left in your office
IT Guy: OH!  You’re the person who left the broken garbage in my office.

Teacher: yeah, I though you would want them
IT Guy: FOR WHAT?  

Teacher: I don’t know…..
IT Guy:  My office is not a garbage dump (actually it is…..see previous post)

Teacher: I thought I was doing you a favor
IT Guy: You thought cleaning all the old, broken shit from your room and dumping it in my office when I am not there is helping me?  I’m all set all favors. 

Teacher: Fine.

Printer Doesn’t Work

Teacher: “IT Guy, the printer you just installed doesn’t work….what’s wrong?”

IT Guy: “Did you put paper in it?”

Teacher: “Oh, no……I didn’t think of that”

IT Guy: “Of course you didn’t…….why would you when you can run over here and tell me.

The case of the crazy pop ups

Phone call….

Teacher: “IT Guy, whenever I try to send an email all kinds of weird things pop-up”

IT Guy: “I don’t know what that means”

Teacher: “Just stuff, things pop-up……on the screen. Ya know what I’m saying”

IT Guy: “No, I haven’t a clue”

Teacher: “Oh wait, I think I got it.  I’ll call you back if there are any more problems.

IT Guy: “Ok, good luck sending your email”

Phone Call 2….

Teacher: “Hi IT Guy, it’s me again”

IT Guy: “I can read”

Teacher: “Those things are popping up again…..can you come look?”

IT Guy: “I’d love too.”

Arrival…….

Teacher: “Oh, hi”

IT Guy: “Why are you surprised?  You invited me down here”

Teacher: “Oh yeah!  Here watch……begins typing email to xxxxx@gmail – as she types the first three letters “things” start popping up:
1.            screen refreshes
2.            bookmarks appear on left side of screen
3.            print option box appears

See IT Guy!  What is the issue?

IT Guy: “To be honest I have never seen anything like this before but my best guess is that perhaps the GIANT binder you have placed on your keyboard is perhaps holding down the “Ctrl” key along with most of the alphabet.

Teacher: Oh, that’s it!  You are so smart IT Guy!

IT Guy: “hahaha….yeah……you’re not. Try not to burn the building down when you attach your document to the email.  Bye!”