Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy

Email List in “the Computer”

Teacher: I have this list of emails I wrote down.  How can I get them in the computer?

IT Guy: You could type them.

Teacher: I don’t want to do that…..is there anyway else?

IT Guy: No, nothing that would be faster

Teacher: I thought computers could do that?

IT Guy: You might be thinking of magic wands.  They can do that.

Teacher: So, I have to type them.

IT Guy: Or call them on the phone…..your choice.

Teacher: Fine.

My office is apparently a garbage dump

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I came in this morning and found out a teacher was in my office looking for a “cord”.  Here is how I found it when I came in.  Sadly, I doubt they even found what she was looking for……

Help Desk Ticket #1

 

Caller: Mrs. V’s computer will not shut down and she was wondering if someone could come take a look at it.

 

Support: Did you try pushing the power button?

 

Caller: No, let me do that………………….the screen went black but it’s still making noise.

 

Support: Did you push the monitor power button or on the tower?

 

Caller: The screen.

 

Support: Please try the power button on the Tower.

 

Caller:  That did it.  Thanks for fixing it.

 

More Final Exam Fun

Here is a story that happened today during teacher checkout.  In our grading system you have to name to your final exam FINAL, in all caps, for it to be recognized by the system.  I don’t feel this is too much ask but apparently I am mistaken.  I think it is important to note that we have had this particular grading program for 5 years now and have discussed the misnaming of the Final Exam in depth.  Incredibly, it has little to no effect.

Teacher: How come my Final exams did not show up on my grade verification sheets?

IT Guy: Did you name the Final Exam column “FINAL”

Teacher: Yep, I did them all the same and it showed up on my other classes.

IT Guy: Fine, I’ll look………………here is the problem.  Despite you adamently defending the fact that you put FINAL in all your columns this one clearly says EXAM.  Why did you decide to do one different than the other?

Teacher:  I don’t think I did.  Not sure how that happened.

IT Guy: Incredible. 

Teacher: Do you want me to redo it?

IT Guy: No, I want to do all your grades myself because you haven’t learned how this program works in the HALF A DECADE we have used it.