Storage Bin

IT : phone rings* IT this is….

College staff: Someone deleted my trash folder in my email

IT: Yes trashed gets purged every 30days

College staff: But I store my files in there ?!

Invalid Date

Teacher: I’ve been trying for the last 15 minutes to get Microsoft Access to accept a date and it won’t do it. 

IT Guy: What is the error message?

Teacher: It says “Invalid Date”

IT Guy: Are you using a valid date?

Teacher:  Of course, I checked it 10 times to be sure.  I am typing the exact date I was given by the student. There must be something wrong with the program.

IT Guy: Ok, I’ll come look

Walks down to teacher lounge….

IT Guy: I think the problem is that you made up a date that doesn’t exist.  February 31st is not a real date.  It never has or for that matter ever will be.

Teacher: Oh!  I was just making up dates.

IT Guy: Yes you were.   I thought you were inputting the exact date from a sheet?

Teacher:  No, I just made it up.

IT Guy: yeah…….good job with that.

Another Final Exam Problem

Teacher: Where are my Final Exams?

IT Guy: I didn’t receive them.  Did you name your column FINAL?

Teacher: Of Course.

IT Guy: Of Course?   I think I will check……(opens up gradebook)

Teacher: See there it is….

IT Guy:  You are correct.  It does say FINAL…unfortunately you decided to add “EX” to the end

Teacher: So what…..it still says FINAL

IT Guy:  IT CAN ONLY SAY FINAL!  You can’t add letters to satisfy some fetish you have to screw things up.

Teacher:  Why does it matter?

IT Guy: I don’t know.  I didn’t build it.  Why is it so hard to follow a set of directions that has 3 steps? I seriously believe you are screwing this up on purpose?  Otherwise your college degree is fake…….

VCR and the Regurgitated Food Spot

Student: Can you come down, Mrs. ***** needs help
IT Guy: Is it 10am already?  Ok.
Teacher: I need the VCR to work
IT Guy: Did you turn it on?
Teacher: I tried
IT Guy: And?
Teacher: I’m not going to be here tomorrow
IT Guy: What does that have to do with anything?
Teacher: I want to make sure it works
IT Guy: IS IT ON?
Teacher: I don’t know
IT Guy: (Pushes on button) It was off
Teacher: What did you push?
IT Guy: The ON button
Teacher: Oh, I thought it was this smudge here?  See?
IT Guy: You thought that smudge was the ON button?  For real?
Teacher: Yeah, it looks like a button
IT Guy: No it doesn’t.  It looks someone spit up chewed potato chips on it.  Why would you even touch that?
Teacher: Well you fixed it.  You have the magical touch
IT Guy: I just turned it on.
Teacher: Thanks again for fixing it
IT Guy: Ok. Next time hit the ON button instead of the regurgitated food spot.

This little piggy broke my computer?

Teacher: Help, Help, Help!  My grades were do 2 hours ago and I can’t turn my computer on.

IT Guy: Explain

Teacher: I keep getting this message:  Attempting to boot from USB device

IT Guy: Do you have a Flash drive in your computer

Teacher: Not that I can see

IT Guy: Did you look?

Teacher: Will you just come down????

IT Guy: Sure

———————————————-

Teacher: See…it won’t boot

IT Guy: I thought you checked for a Flash drives

Teacher: I did

IT Guy: Then what is this….?

Teacher: Oh, that’s my pig

IT Guy: IT’S A FLASH DRIVE!

Teacher: Oh, yeah.  I must have missed it

IT Guy: Yeah……lots of things on the computer look like little pig heads.