Is the email down?

Teacher: ” Is email down?  I have not been able to get emails for a few days now”
IT Guy: Maybe no one is emailing you.
Teacher: “Everyone else is getting them”
IT Guy: Everyone else is more liked than you.
Teacher: What?
IT Guy: I’ll be right down.

Teacher: Thanks for coming.  Here let me show you.
IT Guy: No, you don’t have to…..
Teacher: See, I click here and…..
IT Guy: I believe you
Teacher: Then this happens
IT Guy: Please stop
Teacher: When I try…..
IT Guy: Why are you still showing me?
Teacher: Let me show you on Ed’s computer
IT Guy: MOVE!

IT Guy: You have your messages sorted alphabetically
Teacher: So why can’t I receive new emails
IT Guy: You can….just click here
Teacher: Why weren’t they coming?
IT Guy: They were.
Teacher: Oh, they were hidden
IT Guy: Yep, Microsoft has a notorious reputation for hiding emails.  THEY WERE SORTED WRONG!   If you look here you will notice every email comes from someone whom’s name begins with an A.  It didn’t make your curious all of your emails were from the same person and from 2007
Teacher: Not really.  So who did this to my computer?
IT Guy: I assume Chinese Hackers…there always sneaking around schools mis-sorting things.  Part of their plan for global cyber domination.
Teacher: Oh, ok.  Thanks.

In all honesty, I may have said Iranian hackers not Chinese 

Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy

Fix it yet?

Of my many pet peeves pertaining to teachers “Fix it yet?” is among the top.  Teachers need constant updates on the status of computer repairs.  You would think the mere fact that I am sitting in their classroom would suggest the issue is not corrected but regardless they pepper me with questions in regular intervals.  For example, the following is a pretty standard “Fix it yet?” interaction.

 

Teacher: Hey, IT Guy……..my computer is broken.
IT Guy: Shocking

Teacher: Can you fix it?
IT Guy: I’ll give it a go.

40 seconds pass…. 
 


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: Nope.

Teacher: Do you know what’s wrong with it

IT Guy: No, it is still booting up….go away.

57.4 seconds pass


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: NO!
Teacher: Told you it wasn’t me.
IT Guy: Actually, I’m almost certain you caused the……
Teacher: Yep, not me…..

90 seconds later

Teacher: So you got it fixed yet?
IT Guy: Yep, fixed it along time ago…..I was just so enthralled by your lecture on proper typing posture that I wanted to stay and learn as much as possible…….
Teacher: (Makes dumb face)
IT Guy: NO, IT’S NOT FIXED YET!
Teacher: Oh, Ok.

Email List in “the Computer”

Teacher: I have this list of emails I wrote down.  How can I get them in the computer?

IT Guy: You could type them.

Teacher: I don’t want to do that…..is there anyway else?

IT Guy: No, nothing that would be faster

Teacher: I thought computers could do that?

IT Guy: You might be thinking of magic wands.  They can do that.

Teacher: So, I have to type them.

IT Guy: Or call them on the phone…..your choice.

Teacher: Fine.

Amazing Remote Login Question

A cell phone call I received at home….

Teacher: IT Guy, I’m having trouble logging in at home.

IT Guy: Ok, I will reset your password…….try it now.

Teacher: Nope.

IT Guy: Let me try it.  I just logged you in……works fine.

Teacher: Oh, good……let me try.  No still can’t get in.

IT Guy: Did you put the password in?

Teacher: No, you said you logged me in?

IT Guy: WHAT?  I CAN’T LOGIN YOU IN FROM MY HOUSE.  YOU HAVE TO TYPE IT IN.

Teacher: Oh, I thought you said you logged me in?

IT Guy: Good luck…..(click)