The Power of “Need”

Based on my interactions, it appears teachers have a faith-like belief in the “Power of Need” similar to the “Force” in Star Wars.  I could tell a teacher something as simple and straightforward as “the internet is down and unfortunately you can not get online at the moment” or “sorry, but due to the power outage you can not use your computer at this time”.  In their minds facts such as these are no match for the Power of Need. Almost without exception, teachers will counter with “but I really NEED to check my email” or ” but I really NEED to work on my test”.  As far as I can tell, they seriously believe that if they decide they NEED something enough it will materialize.  The other possibility is that they think I shut off the power grid for the city in an effort to prevent them from checking their email for Borders Coupons.  This is actually a strong possibility because more than a few of the teachers I’ve encountered seem to think that they are the center of the Universe and/or their respective classes are the foundation for which all academia is built.  I have many examples to illustrate the Power of Need……here is one from last week.

 

Teacher:  IT Guy, the copy machine is out of staples

IT Guy: I know, unfortuantely there was a problem with the shipment.  They won’t be here till tomorrow.

Teacher: But I really NEED them now

IT Guy: Sorry, but we don’t have any

Teacher: But I NEED them for an exam that I NEED to give today

IT Guy: I don’t know what you want me to do

Teacher: The exam is very important.  It counts for 15% of their grade and I really NEED to get this done

IT Guy: Oh, I didn’t know how much you NEEDED the staples.  Here, take the three cartridges I have been hiding in my pocket for the last two days so I could listen to you people incessantly whine about your NEED for staples.

Setting up their own computer

This might be my favorite story so far.  A teacher called me down to her room and said “I setup my own computer.  I’m pretty sure I did it right but it won’t work.”  When I arrived this is what I found.

Aside from the upside down computer.  There was a minor issue preventing it from working.

I feel compelled to point out that I truly appreciate the teacher trying to setup their own machine……most teachers will not. Additionally, this is actually a very nice person so I feel slightly bad about posting the story but it was too funny to ignore

Email List in “the Computer”

Teacher: I have this list of emails I wrote down.  How can I get them in the computer?

IT Guy: You could type them.

Teacher: I don’t want to do that…..is there anyway else?

IT Guy: No, nothing that would be faster

Teacher: I thought computers could do that?

IT Guy: You might be thinking of magic wands.  They can do that.

Teacher: So, I have to type them.

IT Guy: Or call them on the phone…..your choice.

Teacher: Fine.

Kids vs Teacher – The DVD Player

I think this story is pretty funny.  Most rooms in our school have the same brand of DVD players. Apparently a few of the kids figured this out and swiped remotes from other classrooms.  When a sub went to show a DVD the kids would let it run for a minute then fast forward it.  When the teacher would get up to fix it the kids would let it play.  As the teacher would begin to walk away the kids would fast forward it again.  This went on for about 20 minutes alternating between the kids fast forwarding the DVD and turning it off entirely.  Giving in to a teacher’s natural urge to ask for help the teacher enlisted the help of the two kids with the remotes.  Shockingly, they couldn’t pinpoint the issue and the problem persisted until the teacher gave in and granted a free period,

Kids 1 – Teachers 0

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