Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.

The Computer should be able to do that – #1

I have a whole series of coming entries where a person that struggles to turn on their computer will suggest that “the computer should be able to do that”.  Here is the first entry:

Secretary: I need to create a report from our school database to automatically create subs for teachers that are out sick

IT Guy: Sorry, our program can not do that

Secretary: Why not?

IT Guy: What do you mean……why not? It wasn’t built that way

Secretary: What if I give you this spreadsheet I printed out

IT Guy: Oh, that will help.  Let me jam it into the CD ROM ………hit the eat button…….. and now the computer is digesting the paper………processing……and there we go………we now have a sub scheduling program.

Secretary: You are an ass.

IT Guy: Yep

 

Inevitable Computer Issues

Inevitable Computer Issues.pdf
Download this file

This is a document I created, called "Inevitbale Computer Issues", to help teachers setup their computers when they first come back to school.  It almost got me fired.

Why is the Office Closed?

Teacher: Why is the office closed?

IT Guy: They leave at 1:00

Teacher: But it’s only 1:30

IT Guy:  What?

Teacher: It’s only 1:30……do they pack right up and leave?

IT Guy: I would…….to avoid having conversations like this.

Teacher: That’s kind of ridiculous

IT Guy: Just to confirm.  It is ridiculous that you, a person who does not work in the summer, sat at home until the office was closed then came to school and expected them to be here waiting for you………or that they are not here 30 minutes after closing time?

Teacher: You are a jerk

IT Guy: I know……and you are making me regret I didn’t leave at closing time……or as you call it “early”.

Do you know this kid’s grade?

Office Worker: Do you know if this kid’s grade is right?
IT Guy: How would I know his grade?  I am not his teacher

Office Worker: Just tell me his grade
IT Guy: How the hell would I know his grade? 

Office Worker: Well you do the grades don’t you.
IT Guy: Yes, I do.  What I don’t do is memorize the 6,300 grades that pass through my computer.  I understand you are very impressed with my ability to sort things in Excel but that does not make me the freaking Rain Man

Office Worker: So how do I find his grade if you don’t know it?
IT Guy: ASK HIS TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!

Office Worker: Fine, I’ll try it.