Is my computer dead?

Teacher: Hey, I think my computer might have died over the summer

IT Guy: Why is that?
Teacher: I’ve hit the power switch five times and the screen is black
IT Guy: Is the monitor on?
Teacher: I don’t know…..I guess
IT Guy: Well that is kind of important
Teacher: Can you take a look?
IT Guy: I guess it is the only way we will solve this mystery

 

Walk down to classroom

 

Teacher: Here it is……think it was lightning?
IT Guy: Nope.  I think is the fact that you turned off your power strip.  The one that is sitting next to your computer.

The Nun and the Integer

At our school, a students 2nd semester grade is a concoction of their 3rd qtr, 4th qtr, and Final Exam grades weighted 40, 40, 20 respectively.  Pretty straightforward I thought.

Sister : IT Guy, I can’t change my weighting.
IT Guy: Did you click the “Change” button?
Sister: No, should I try it?
IT Guy: yep, let’s give it a go
Sister: It didn’t work
IT Guy: What do you mean it didn’t work?  Was there an error message?
Sister: Yeah, do you want me to read it?
IT Guy: No, thanks……I can see it through the phone
Sister: Oh, ok………………….it says “invalid, expected integer”
IT Guy: Did you put a number in the box?
Sister: Yep!
IT Guy: I think I’ll come down for this one

IT Guy: Well Sister, here is the problem.  It turns out ” 1  100.00.00″ is not an integer.  In fact no number known to man starts with a space, has intermittent spaces through out and has 2 decimal points.  Why is you final exam worth  1  100.00.00 when everyone else’s is worth 20%

Sister: Oh, I see……how did I do that?
IT Guy: I don’t know, Sister.  It’s truly a mystery.

Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.

Inevitable Computer Issues

Inevitable Computer Issues.pdf
Download this file

This is a document I created, called "Inevitbale Computer Issues", to help teachers setup their computers when they first come back to school.  It almost got me fired.

Why is the Office Closed?

Teacher: Why is the office closed?

IT Guy: They leave at 1:00

Teacher: But it’s only 1:30

IT Guy:  What?

Teacher: It’s only 1:30……do they pack right up and leave?

IT Guy: I would…….to avoid having conversations like this.

Teacher: That’s kind of ridiculous

IT Guy: Just to confirm.  It is ridiculous that you, a person who does not work in the summer, sat at home until the office was closed then came to school and expected them to be here waiting for you………or that they are not here 30 minutes after closing time?

Teacher: You are a jerk

IT Guy: I know……and you are making me regret I didn’t leave at closing time……or as you call it “early”.