Diarhea Text

This is not actually a teacher story but it is from a school.  A secretary shared this parent interaction with me this morning.

Parent: Hi, Secretary my son is sending me texts from the bathroom.

Secretary: Ok, what do you want me to do?  Take his phone away?

Parent: Well, no……he has diarhea.

Secretary: Ok……..that is too bad.  What would you like me to do?

Parent: I would like you to tell him to come home.

Secretary: I can’t go in the boys bathroom.

Parent: Oh yeah, I will text him and tell him to come see you

Secretary: Ok, please ask him to wash his hands.  Thanks.

 

Computer Relocation

Teacher: I want my computer on the other side of the room
IT Guy: There is no power over there
Teacher: Why not?
IT Guy: I don’t know, I didn’t build the school
Teacher: Can you put one in?
IT Guy: I am not an electrician
Teacher: Can we hire one?
IT Guy: It would be kind of expensive…..why do you want to move it?
Teacher: No reason…..I just wanted to try it this year
IT Guy: Of course……. if you would like me to knock down some walls for you as well just let me know.

Another Final Exam Problem

Teacher: Where are my Final Exams?

IT Guy: I didn’t receive them.  Did you name your column FINAL?

Teacher: Of Course.

IT Guy: Of Course?   I think I will check……(opens up gradebook)

Teacher: See there it is….

IT Guy:  You are correct.  It does say FINAL…unfortunately you decided to add “EX” to the end

Teacher: So what…..it still says FINAL

IT Guy:  IT CAN ONLY SAY FINAL!  You can’t add letters to satisfy some fetish you have to screw things up.

Teacher:  Why does it matter?

IT Guy: I don’t know.  I didn’t build it.  Why is it so hard to follow a set of directions that has 3 steps? I seriously believe you are screwing this up on purpose?  Otherwise your college degree is fake…….

PE Teacher Explains International Politics

Student submitted Story:  

A bit of background first, essentially this guy was “teaching” class one day when some girl piped up with a question about war and why we would enter into one. This is what he said:

Teacher: “its like this, say a larger country like China started to pick on a smaller country like Puerto Rico. The U.S. would go to war to defend the smaller country.”

Student: Raising my hand. “ummm Puerto Rico is U.S. Territory, if China attacked it we would have to go to war.” 

Teacher:  “Shut up”