Invalid Date

Teacher: I’ve been trying for the last 15 minutes to get Microsoft Access to accept a date and it won’t do it. 

IT Guy: What is the error message?

Teacher: It says “Invalid Date”

IT Guy: Are you using a valid date?

Teacher:  Of course, I checked it 10 times to be sure.  I am typing the exact date I was given by the student. There must be something wrong with the program.

IT Guy: Ok, I’ll come look

Walks down to teacher lounge….

IT Guy: I think the problem is that you made up a date that doesn’t exist.  February 31st is not a real date.  It never has or for that matter ever will be.

Teacher: Oh!  I was just making up dates.

IT Guy: Yes you were.   I thought you were inputting the exact date from a sheet?

Teacher:  No, I just made it up.

IT Guy: yeah…….good job with that.

Copy Machine Genius

Teacher: Can you help me, I have been trying for 15 minutes to unjam the copy machine?
IT Guy: Did you follow the directions?
Teacher: Yes, exactly…
IT Guy: Ok, let me see.  Open door 2 and …… here it is
Teacher:  Oh, I didn’t look there. How did you know of this magical spot.
IT Guy: Well, I looked at the pretty screen on top.  If you look right here next to STEP 1 it says OPEN DOOR 2.  Next, I explored the facade of the machine to find the door with this symbol (2) on it.  From there I gathered that it must be door two. Then I grabbed the little knob, opened the door and amongst all the gears and plastic pieces I looked for a flat, white object that looks like paper. When I located the object I used my fingers to remove it thusly.  
Teacher: Oh, I have trouble with this machine
IT Guy:  Yeah……this machine.  Don’t worry I have a Masters degree in direction reading and copy machine unjamming.  It takes a highly educated person to follow blinking directions.

MORE STORIES

My office is apparently a garbage dump

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I came in this morning and found out a teacher was in my office looking for a “cord”.  Here is how I found it when I came in.  Sadly, I doubt they even found what she was looking for……

Is my computer dead?

Teacher: Hey, I think my computer might have died over the summer

IT Guy: Why is that?
Teacher: I’ve hit the power switch five times and the screen is black
IT Guy: Is the monitor on?
Teacher: I don’t know…..I guess
IT Guy: Well that is kind of important
Teacher: Can you take a look?
IT Guy: I guess it is the only way we will solve this mystery

 

Walk down to classroom

 

Teacher: Here it is……think it was lightning?
IT Guy: Nope.  I think is the fact that you turned off your power strip.  The one that is sitting next to your computer.

The Nun and the Integer

At our school, a students 2nd semester grade is a concoction of their 3rd qtr, 4th qtr, and Final Exam grades weighted 40, 40, 20 respectively.  Pretty straightforward I thought.

Sister : IT Guy, I can’t change my weighting.
IT Guy: Did you click the “Change” button?
Sister: No, should I try it?
IT Guy: yep, let’s give it a go
Sister: It didn’t work
IT Guy: What do you mean it didn’t work?  Was there an error message?
Sister: Yeah, do you want me to read it?
IT Guy: No, thanks……I can see it through the phone
Sister: Oh, ok………………….it says “invalid, expected integer”
IT Guy: Did you put a number in the box?
Sister: Yep!
IT Guy: I think I’ll come down for this one

IT Guy: Well Sister, here is the problem.  It turns out ” 1  100.00.00″ is not an integer.  In fact no number known to man starts with a space, has intermittent spaces through out and has 2 decimal points.  Why is you final exam worth  1  100.00.00 when everyone else’s is worth 20%

Sister: Oh, I see……how did I do that?
IT Guy: I don’t know, Sister.  It’s truly a mystery.