Copy Machine Genius

Teacher: Can you help me, I have been trying for 15 minutes to unjam the copy machine?
IT Guy: Did you follow the directions?
Teacher: Yes, exactly…
IT Guy: Ok, let me see.  Open door 2 and …… here it is
Teacher:  Oh, I didn’t look there. How did you know of this magical spot.
IT Guy: Well, I looked at the pretty screen on top.  If you look right here next to STEP 1 it says OPEN DOOR 2.  Next, I explored the facade of the machine to find the door with this symbol (2) on it.  From there I gathered that it must be door two. Then I grabbed the little knob, opened the door and amongst all the gears and plastic pieces I looked for a flat, white object that looks like paper. When I located the object I used my fingers to remove it thusly.  
Teacher: Oh, I have trouble with this machine
IT Guy:  Yeah……this machine.  Don’t worry I have a Masters degree in direction reading and copy machine unjamming.  It takes a highly educated person to follow blinking directions.

MORE STORIES

Setting up their own computer

This might be my favorite story so far.  A teacher called me down to her room and said “I setup my own computer.  I’m pretty sure I did it right but it won’t work.”  When I arrived this is what I found.

Aside from the upside down computer.  There was a minor issue preventing it from working.

I feel compelled to point out that I truly appreciate the teacher trying to setup their own machine……most teachers will not. Additionally, this is actually a very nice person so I feel slightly bad about posting the story but it was too funny to ignore

Fix it yet?

Of my many pet peeves pertaining to teachers “Fix it yet?” is among the top.  Teachers need constant updates on the status of computer repairs.  You would think the mere fact that I am sitting in their classroom would suggest the issue is not corrected but regardless they pepper me with questions in regular intervals.  For example, the following is a pretty standard “Fix it yet?” interaction.

 

Teacher: Hey, IT Guy……..my computer is broken.
IT Guy: Shocking

Teacher: Can you fix it?
IT Guy: I’ll give it a go.

40 seconds pass…. 
 


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: Nope.

Teacher: Do you know what’s wrong with it

IT Guy: No, it is still booting up….go away.

57.4 seconds pass


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: NO!
Teacher: Told you it wasn’t me.
IT Guy: Actually, I’m almost certain you caused the……
Teacher: Yep, not me…..

90 seconds later

Teacher: So you got it fixed yet?
IT Guy: Yep, fixed it along time ago…..I was just so enthralled by your lecture on proper typing posture that I wanted to stay and learn as much as possible…….
Teacher: (Makes dumb face)
IT Guy: NO, IT’S NOT FIXED YET!
Teacher: Oh, Ok.

Why did you change my password?

Teacher:  “IT Guy, I can’t login…..why did you change my password?”
IT Guy: “Why would I change your password?”
Teacher: (Read with a smug voice) “I don’t know IT Guy you tell me?”  then laugh like an uncomfortable nerd….
IT Guy: “Let me rephrase….I didn’t change your password”
Teacher: “You must have….I always use the same one”
IT Guy: “Actually, I almost never randomly change passwords.  It actually creates more work for me not to mention annoying conversations like this. Why don’t I reset it for you.  Can you type it in here”
Teacher: Ok……what did I use last year.  I can’t remember”

Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.