Email List in “the Computer”

Teacher: I have this list of emails I wrote down.  How can I get them in the computer?

IT Guy: You could type them.

Teacher: I don’t want to do that…..is there anyway else?

IT Guy: No, nothing that would be faster

Teacher: I thought computers could do that?

IT Guy: You might be thinking of magic wands.  They can do that.

Teacher: So, I have to type them.

IT Guy: Or call them on the phone…..your choice.

Teacher: Fine.

The Nun and the Integer

At our school, a students 2nd semester grade is a concoction of their 3rd qtr, 4th qtr, and Final Exam grades weighted 40, 40, 20 respectively.  Pretty straightforward I thought.

Sister : IT Guy, I can’t change my weighting.
IT Guy: Did you click the “Change” button?
Sister: No, should I try it?
IT Guy: yep, let’s give it a go
Sister: It didn’t work
IT Guy: What do you mean it didn’t work?  Was there an error message?
Sister: Yeah, do you want me to read it?
IT Guy: No, thanks……I can see it through the phone
Sister: Oh, ok………………….it says “invalid, expected integer”
IT Guy: Did you put a number in the box?
Sister: Yep!
IT Guy: I think I’ll come down for this one

IT Guy: Well Sister, here is the problem.  It turns out ” 1  100.00.00″ is not an integer.  In fact no number known to man starts with a space, has intermittent spaces through out and has 2 decimal points.  Why is you final exam worth  1  100.00.00 when everyone else’s is worth 20%

Sister: Oh, I see……how did I do that?
IT Guy: I don’t know, Sister.  It’s truly a mystery.

Help Desk Ticket #1

 

Caller: Mrs. V’s computer will not shut down and she was wondering if someone could come take a look at it.

 

Support: Did you try pushing the power button?

 

Caller: No, let me do that………………….the screen went black but it’s still making noise.

 

Support: Did you push the monitor power button or on the tower?

 

Caller: The screen.

 

Support: Please try the power button on the Tower.

 

Caller:  That did it.  Thanks for fixing it.

 

Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.

Printer Doesn’t Work

Teacher: “IT Guy, the printer you just installed doesn’t work….what’s wrong?”

IT Guy: “Did you put paper in it?”

Teacher: “Oh, no……I didn’t think of that”

IT Guy: “Of course you didn’t…….why would you when you can run over here and tell me.