Will our new webpage work?

Teacher: Hi, I just wanted to check that our new group web page will work

IT Guy: What do you mean work?

Teacher: On the system?

IT Guy: The system?

Teacher: Yeah, our new web page

IT Guy: What are we talking about?

Teacher: I want to know if our webpage will work at school?

IT Guy: Are you asking me if you can view a webpage at school?

Teacher: yes…..our new one.

IT Guy: Yes.  We have internet access.

Teacher: Great!

Lifetime Logins


Teacher: Can you reset my login?
IT Guy: What login? You left here 3 years ago?.
Teacher: Do you get rid of those?
IT Guy: No, we keep them forever.  That’s how we keep track of who use to work here.
Teacher: What?
IT Guy: Let me put it this way…..do you keep the keys to your house when you move out?
Teacher: I live in a condo.
IT Guy: WHAT???!

The case of the crazy pop ups

Phone call….

Teacher: “IT Guy, whenever I try to send an email all kinds of weird things pop-up”

IT Guy: “I don’t know what that means”

Teacher: “Just stuff, things pop-up……on the screen. Ya know what I’m saying”

IT Guy: “No, I haven’t a clue”

Teacher: “Oh wait, I think I got it.  I’ll call you back if there are any more problems.

IT Guy: “Ok, good luck sending your email”

Phone Call 2….

Teacher: “Hi IT Guy, it’s me again”

IT Guy: “I can read”

Teacher: “Those things are popping up again…..can you come look?”

IT Guy: “I’d love too.”

Arrival…….

Teacher: “Oh, hi”

IT Guy: “Why are you surprised?  You invited me down here”

Teacher: “Oh yeah!  Here watch……begins typing email to xxxxx@gmail – as she types the first three letters “things” start popping up:
1.            screen refreshes
2.            bookmarks appear on left side of screen
3.            print option box appears

See IT Guy!  What is the issue?

IT Guy: “To be honest I have never seen anything like this before but my best guess is that perhaps the GIANT binder you have placed on your keyboard is perhaps holding down the “Ctrl” key along with most of the alphabet.

Teacher: Oh, that’s it!  You are so smart IT Guy!

IT Guy: “hahaha….yeah……you’re not. Try not to burn the building down when you attach your document to the email.  Bye!”

 

Following Directions

The Directions

If a student is exempt from the Final Exam leave the two astericks in the cell and the exam will not be calcualated into their Final Grade

Teacher: Ok, my grades are in

IT Guy: Congratulations

Teacher: I think I did them all right

IT Guy: You are so kind

Teacher: Is it OK that I put an X in the Final Exam column for exempt students?

IT Guy: No, you are suppose to leave the astericks. Did you see the directions?

Teacher: Yeah.  But I like the X’s

IT Guy: Are you serious?

Teacher: Why can’t I put an X?

IT Guy: I have no idea, that is how the software was made.  Why does it matter?

Teacher: I like X. It means exempt.

IT Guy: Actually it means the kid got an X on his Final Exam.  Additionally, why does X mean exempt?  Why not EX?

Teacher: X is faster.

IT Guy: It sure is.  You are genius!

Teacher: So should I change it back?  Or should we just see it works?

IT Guy: Unless you want to explain to the parents why their Final Grades are algebraic expressions please follow the directions without editing them for efficiency and/or stupidity.

Technological Relic

TEACHER: IT Guy, here ya go.
IT GUY: What is that?
TEACHER: It’s an old overhead projector I found in my closet
IT GUY: I don’t want that
TEACHER: Why not?
IT GUY: What the hell am I going to do with it?
TEACHER: This is the IT Office, right?
IT GUY: That is correct. It is NOT a museum. Please take your archaic relic to the nearest museum or, perhaps a better solution, a dumpster
TEACHER: It still works
IT GUY: So do 8-Track players but we finally stopped you from using those last year.
TEACHER: So, can I leave it here?
IT GUY: NO!