Inevitable Computer Issues

Inevitable Computer Issues.pdf
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This is a document I created, called "Inevitbale Computer Issues", to help teachers setup their computers when they first come back to school.  It almost got me fired.

Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.

Invalid Date

Teacher: I’ve been trying for the last 15 minutes to get Microsoft Access to accept a date and it won’t do it. 

IT Guy: What is the error message?

Teacher: It says “Invalid Date”

IT Guy: Are you using a valid date?

Teacher:  Of course, I checked it 10 times to be sure.  I am typing the exact date I was given by the student. There must be something wrong with the program.

IT Guy: Ok, I’ll come look

Walks down to teacher lounge….

IT Guy: I think the problem is that you made up a date that doesn’t exist.  February 31st is not a real date.  It never has or for that matter ever will be.

Teacher: Oh!  I was just making up dates.

IT Guy: Yes you were.   I thought you were inputting the exact date from a sheet?

Teacher:  No, I just made it up.

IT Guy: yeah…….good job with that.

Diarhea Text

This is not actually a teacher story but it is from a school.  A secretary shared this parent interaction with me this morning.

Parent: Hi, Secretary my son is sending me texts from the bathroom.

Secretary: Ok, what do you want me to do?  Take his phone away?

Parent: Well, no……he has diarhea.

Secretary: Ok……..that is too bad.  What would you like me to do?

Parent: I would like you to tell him to come home.

Secretary: I can’t go in the boys bathroom.

Parent: Oh yeah, I will text him and tell him to come see you

Secretary: Ok, please ask him to wash his hands.  Thanks.

 

A kid did something to my computer?

Teacher: IT Guy, I really need your help.  I’m freaking out.

IT Guy: What’s the matter?

Teacher: A kid did something to my computer and now it won’t turn on.

IT Guy: Oh Yeah

Teacher:  I don’t need any of your smart talk.  I tried to fix it and there is something seriously wrong. Can you come down here and not make any rude remarks?

IT Guy: I guess I can try.

Teacher: Hurry!

(arrive 12.8 seconds later)

IT Guy: Despite the deviant kids best efforts I think I have restored your computer.

Teacher: What did you do?

IT Guy: I pushed the power button on the monitor

Teacher: Are your serious? You are going to put this on your blog aren’t you?

IT Guy: As soon as I get back to my office.