Teacher: I’ve been trying for the last 15 minutes to get Microsoft Access to accept a date and it won’t do it.
I think this story is pretty funny. Most rooms in our school have the same brand of DVD players. Apparently a few of the kids figured this out and swiped remotes from other classrooms. When a sub went to show a DVD the kids would let it run for a minute then fast forward it. When the teacher would get up to fix it the kids would let it play. As the teacher would begin to walk away the kids would fast forward it again. This went on for about 20 minutes alternating between the kids fast forwarding the DVD and turning it off entirely. Giving in to a teacher’s natural urge to ask for help the teacher enlisted the help of the two kids with the remotes. Shockingly, they couldn’t pinpoint the issue and the problem persisted until the teacher gave in and granted a free period,
Kids 1 – Teachers 0
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Office Worker: Do you know if this kid’s grade is right?
IT Guy: How would I know his grade? I am not his teacher
Office Worker: Just tell me his grade
IT Guy: How the hell would I know his grade?
Office Worker: Well you do the grades don’t you.
IT Guy: Yes, I do. What I don’t do is memorize the 6,300 grades that pass through my computer. I understand you are very impressed with my ability to sort things in Excel but that does not make me the freaking Rain Man
Office Worker: So how do I find his grade if you don’t know it?
IT Guy: ASK HIS TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!
Office Worker: Fine, I’ll try it.
Teacher: Hey IT Guy, just wanted to confirm that when I put in the exam I choose “Yes”, correct?
STUDENT SUBMITTED STORY: My junior year of college I needed to take a 200 level philosophy class to satisfy my university’s core curriculum requirements. My teacher, who had recently been introduced to her first tiny bit of fame from publishing a book chronicling the UN sanctions imposed on Iraq in the years prior to the Iraq War, would ramble on for the entire 2 and a half hour lecture every Wednesday about some barely relevant human rights issue that she choose.One week it would be Nuremberg Trials, the next the Geneva Convention; apartheid; AIDS; Nicaraguan property rights; and then, submarine warfare during WWII. Professor G: Under the widely understood rules of engagement during WWII it became routine for submarines to sink battleships and destroyers and not resurface to hunt for survivors. In the ensuing treaty negotiations the issue of submarine warfare become a topic both the Allies and Axis had little interest in discussing as both had committed atrocities on their respective sides. Must we not therefore hold ourselves equally responsible for human rights violations in wartime just as the Germans themselves argued during their defense in the trials at Nuremberg. (At this point she is basically grinning from ear to ear, as she has somehow, miraculously, managed to relate her ramblings from today’s class to lass week’s seemingly acid-induced lecture) Me: “Professor, I have read that WWII era submarines, operating at standard depth-charge depth would take a minimum of two hours to surface. By that point, most of the survivors would have drowned having sustained serious injuries; the men on fire in the burning gasoline and oil would have been, at the luckiest, permanently scarred; and most likely another ship would have responded to the sunken ship’s distress call. If you’re stupid enough to surface to look for survivors with a destroyer eying you down you deserve to get blown out of the water. Professor G: …… Okay.