I’m pretty sure Teachers blatantly ignore me

IT Guy: If I switch over the grading system teachers’ gradebooks will be unavailable for the rest of the day.  Are you OK with that?

Teacher: Yep

IT Guy: Are you sure?  None of the teachers will be able to make any changes till tomorrow? You are cool with that?  I can not switch it back till tomorrow.

Teacher:  Yep, no problem.

IT Guy: Ok, I will make the switch.

(12 minutes later the phone rings)

Teacher: I am trying to access my gradebooks and it said they are not available.  What’s wrong??????

IT Guy: Are your serious?  We just had this converstation like 10 minutes ago. 

Teacher: We did?  How come I can’t see my gradebooks?

IT Guy: I turned them off. I JUST TOLD YOU THAT!

Teacher: Oh, can you turn them back on? 

IT Guy: No

Teacher: But, I NEED them now.

IT Guy: I told you can not do that until tomorrow and you said it was fine.

Teacher: But I didn’t need them then……now I do.

IT Guy: My apologies.  I don’t think I did a very good job explaining this to you the first time.  Tell you what, grab some colored chalk and meet me in room 205. I will see if I can diagram the meaning of “Stupid” and “NO” for you in pictures. (Click)

Invalid Date

Teacher: I’ve been trying for the last 15 minutes to get Microsoft Access to accept a date and it won’t do it. 

IT Guy: What is the error message?

Teacher: It says “Invalid Date”

IT Guy: Are you using a valid date?

Teacher:  Of course, I checked it 10 times to be sure.  I am typing the exact date I was given by the student. There must be something wrong with the program.

IT Guy: Ok, I’ll come look

Walks down to teacher lounge….

IT Guy: I think the problem is that you made up a date that doesn’t exist.  February 31st is not a real date.  It never has or for that matter ever will be.

Teacher: Oh!  I was just making up dates.

IT Guy: Yes you were.   I thought you were inputting the exact date from a sheet?

Teacher:  No, I just made it up.

IT Guy: yeah…….good job with that.

Kids vs Teacher – The DVD Player

I think this story is pretty funny.  Most rooms in our school have the same brand of DVD players. Apparently a few of the kids figured this out and swiped remotes from other classrooms.  When a sub went to show a DVD the kids would let it run for a minute then fast forward it.  When the teacher would get up to fix it the kids would let it play.  As the teacher would begin to walk away the kids would fast forward it again.  This went on for about 20 minutes alternating between the kids fast forwarding the DVD and turning it off entirely.  Giving in to a teacher’s natural urge to ask for help the teacher enlisted the help of the two kids with the remotes.  Shockingly, they couldn’t pinpoint the issue and the problem persisted until the teacher gave in and granted a free period,

Kids 1 – Teachers 0

Ever outsmart a teacher?  Tell us about it!  Submit here

Do you know this kid’s grade?

Office Worker: Do you know if this kid’s grade is right?
IT Guy: How would I know his grade?  I am not his teacher

Office Worker: Just tell me his grade
IT Guy: How the hell would I know his grade? 

Office Worker: Well you do the grades don’t you.
IT Guy: Yes, I do.  What I don’t do is memorize the 6,300 grades that pass through my computer.  I understand you are very impressed with my ability to sort things in Excel but that does not make me the freaking Rain Man

Office Worker: So how do I find his grade if you don’t know it?
IT Guy: ASK HIS TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!

Office Worker: Fine, I’ll try it.

Final Exams

When you create a Final Exam column in our online gradebooks you are prompted to enter the semester in which the exam grade should apply.  There are three options “1, 2 and Y”.  If the exam goes with the first semester you type 1, if it is second semester you type 2.  The “Y” is for “Yes”.  I have no clue what the “Y” is for but the teachers for whatever reason are enamored with it.

Teacher: Hey IT Guy, just wanted to confirm that when I put in the exam I choose “Yes”, correct?

IT Guy: No, why would you choose “Yes”.  What are you agreeing to?
Teacher: The Final

IT Guy: You think your gradebook is asking you to agree to a Final?
Teacher: Yes.

IT Guy: Well it’s not.  If you read the question that you are answering in the affirmative you would see it asks you which Semester this Exam applies.  Essentially your dialogue went like this” Which semester does this Exam apply to.” “Yes”
Teacher: Oh, so what is the answer?

IT Guy: Which semester are we in?
Teacher: Oh. Fourth.
IT Guy: We don’t have a fourth semester
Teacher: Oh yeah.  Sorry, second.
IT Guy: Great job.