This little piggy broke my computer?

Teacher: Help, Help, Help!  My grades were do 2 hours ago and I can’t turn my computer on.

IT Guy: Explain

Teacher: I keep getting this message:  Attempting to boot from USB device

IT Guy: Do you have a Flash drive in your computer

Teacher: Not that I can see

IT Guy: Did you look?

Teacher: Will you just come down????

IT Guy: Sure

———————————————-

Teacher: See…it won’t boot

IT Guy: I thought you checked for a Flash drives

Teacher: I did

IT Guy: Then what is this….?

Teacher: Oh, that’s my pig

IT Guy: IT’S A FLASH DRIVE!

Teacher: Oh, yeah.  I must have missed it

IT Guy: Yeah……lots of things on the computer look like little pig heads.

 

 

Technological Relic

TEACHER: IT Guy, here ya go.
IT GUY: What is that?
TEACHER: It’s an old overhead projector I found in my closet
IT GUY: I don’t want that
TEACHER: Why not?
IT GUY: What the hell am I going to do with it?
TEACHER: This is the IT Office, right?
IT GUY: That is correct. It is NOT a museum. Please take your archaic relic to the nearest museum or, perhaps a better solution, a dumpster
TEACHER: It still works
IT GUY: So do 8-Track players but we finally stopped you from using those last year.
TEACHER: So, can I leave it here?
IT GUY: NO!

Why is the Office Closed?

Teacher: Why is the office closed?

IT Guy: They leave at 1:00

Teacher: But it’s only 1:30

IT Guy:  What?

Teacher: It’s only 1:30……do they pack right up and leave?

IT Guy: I would…….to avoid having conversations like this.

Teacher: That’s kind of ridiculous

IT Guy: Just to confirm.  It is ridiculous that you, a person who does not work in the summer, sat at home until the office was closed then came to school and expected them to be here waiting for you………or that they are not here 30 minutes after closing time?

Teacher: You are a jerk

IT Guy: I know……and you are making me regret I didn’t leave at closing time……or as you call it “early”.

More Final Exam Fun

Here is a story that happened today during teacher checkout.  In our grading system you have to name to your final exam FINAL, in all caps, for it to be recognized by the system.  I don’t feel this is too much ask but apparently I am mistaken.  I think it is important to note that we have had this particular grading program for 5 years now and have discussed the misnaming of the Final Exam in depth.  Incredibly, it has little to no effect.

Teacher: How come my Final exams did not show up on my grade verification sheets?

IT Guy: Did you name the Final Exam column “FINAL”

Teacher: Yep, I did them all the same and it showed up on my other classes.

IT Guy: Fine, I’ll look………………here is the problem.  Despite you adamently defending the fact that you put FINAL in all your columns this one clearly says EXAM.  Why did you decide to do one different than the other?

Teacher:  I don’t think I did.  Not sure how that happened.

IT Guy: Incredible. 

Teacher: Do you want me to redo it?

IT Guy: No, I want to do all your grades myself because you haven’t learned how this program works in the HALF A DECADE we have used it.

Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy