Is my computer dead?

Teacher: Hey, I think my computer might have died over the summer

IT Guy: Why is that?
Teacher: I’ve hit the power switch five times and the screen is black
IT Guy: Is the monitor on?
Teacher: I don’t know…..I guess
IT Guy: Well that is kind of important
Teacher: Can you take a look?
IT Guy: I guess it is the only way we will solve this mystery

 

Walk down to classroom

 

Teacher: Here it is……think it was lightning?
IT Guy: Nope.  I think is the fact that you turned off your power strip.  The one that is sitting next to your computer.

Copy Machine Genius

Teacher: Can you help me, I have been trying for 15 minutes to unjam the copy machine?
IT Guy: Did you follow the directions?
Teacher: Yes, exactly…
IT Guy: Ok, let me see.  Open door 2 and …… here it is
Teacher:  Oh, I didn’t look there. How did you know of this magical spot.
IT Guy: Well, I looked at the pretty screen on top.  If you look right here next to STEP 1 it says OPEN DOOR 2.  Next, I explored the facade of the machine to find the door with this symbol (2) on it.  From there I gathered that it must be door two. Then I grabbed the little knob, opened the door and amongst all the gears and plastic pieces I looked for a flat, white object that looks like paper. When I located the object I used my fingers to remove it thusly.  
Teacher: Oh, I have trouble with this machine
IT Guy:  Yeah……this machine.  Don’t worry I have a Masters degree in direction reading and copy machine unjamming.  It takes a highly educated person to follow blinking directions.

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Quote of the Day :: 9/6/11

The scene: After trying to get online for 5 minutes a student realizes the machine is unplugged from the network.  The student then hands the unplugged end of the network cord to the teacher.  After examining it for 30 seconds or so the teacher shouts across the room.

"Hey IT Guy, do you think this has something to do with the problem"

Is the email down?

Teacher: ” Is email down?  I have not been able to get emails for a few days now”
IT Guy: Maybe no one is emailing you.
Teacher: “Everyone else is getting them”
IT Guy: Everyone else is more liked than you.
Teacher: What?
IT Guy: I’ll be right down.

Teacher: Thanks for coming.  Here let me show you.
IT Guy: No, you don’t have to…..
Teacher: See, I click here and…..
IT Guy: I believe you
Teacher: Then this happens
IT Guy: Please stop
Teacher: When I try…..
IT Guy: Why are you still showing me?
Teacher: Let me show you on Ed’s computer
IT Guy: MOVE!

IT Guy: You have your messages sorted alphabetically
Teacher: So why can’t I receive new emails
IT Guy: You can….just click here
Teacher: Why weren’t they coming?
IT Guy: They were.
Teacher: Oh, they were hidden
IT Guy: Yep, Microsoft has a notorious reputation for hiding emails.  THEY WERE SORTED WRONG!   If you look here you will notice every email comes from someone whom’s name begins with an A.  It didn’t make your curious all of your emails were from the same person and from 2007
Teacher: Not really.  So who did this to my computer?
IT Guy: I assume Chinese Hackers…there always sneaking around schools mis-sorting things.  Part of their plan for global cyber domination.
Teacher: Oh, ok.  Thanks.

In all honesty, I may have said Iranian hackers not Chinese 

Diarhea Text

This is not actually a teacher story but it is from a school.  A secretary shared this parent interaction with me this morning.

Parent: Hi, Secretary my son is sending me texts from the bathroom.

Secretary: Ok, what do you want me to do?  Take his phone away?

Parent: Well, no……he has diarhea.

Secretary: Ok……..that is too bad.  What would you like me to do?

Parent: I would like you to tell him to come home.

Secretary: I can’t go in the boys bathroom.

Parent: Oh yeah, I will text him and tell him to come see you

Secretary: Ok, please ask him to wash his hands.  Thanks.