IT vs the Volunteers

 

Volunteer:  I need to install some software – can you do it? 

IT Guy: Actually, I’m kind of busy….can you just throw it into your CD ROM and keep clicking next

Volunteer: I don’t know…….I guess I can try

IT Guy: Thanks…..you are very brave

Volunteer: Ok, I’ll call you back when I’m in front of the computer

IT Guy: But….why?

**CLICK***


Volunteerr: Ok, I am in front of the computer.

IT Guy: Great, put the disk in

Volunteer:  I can’t find the computer

IT Guy: What do you mean?  You just said you were in front of it.

Volunteer: I am but I can’t see the hard drive.

IT Guy: Can’t see the hard drive, huh?  How bout that?   Did you look on the floor.

Volunteer: I sure did and on the desk.

IT Guy: Good thinking.  Ok, well there is a three foot cord connecting the monitor to it.  Can you circle the machine in a three foot circumference till you step on it.

Volunteer: No

IT: Of course not, I’ll be right there.


**************************


Volunteer: I think someone might have moved the computer

IT Guy: Actually, it’s right here.  The monitor is sitting on top of i

Volunteer: Oh, that is the computer

IT guy: It sure is…..you giant idiot.  Just throw the CD in it and hit next

Volunteer: Where does the CD go?

IT Guy:  Why don’t I just do it?  You probably won’t be able to find the next button either


 


 

Fix it yet?

Of my many pet peeves pertaining to teachers “Fix it yet?” is among the top.  Teachers need constant updates on the status of computer repairs.  You would think the mere fact that I am sitting in their classroom would suggest the issue is not corrected but regardless they pepper me with questions in regular intervals.  For example, the following is a pretty standard “Fix it yet?” interaction.

 

Teacher: Hey, IT Guy……..my computer is broken.
IT Guy: Shocking

Teacher: Can you fix it?
IT Guy: I’ll give it a go.

40 seconds pass…. 
 


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: Nope.

Teacher: Do you know what’s wrong with it

IT Guy: No, it is still booting up….go away.

57.4 seconds pass


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: NO!
Teacher: Told you it wasn’t me.
IT Guy: Actually, I’m almost certain you caused the……
Teacher: Yep, not me…..

90 seconds later

Teacher: So you got it fixed yet?
IT Guy: Yep, fixed it along time ago…..I was just so enthralled by your lecture on proper typing posture that I wanted to stay and learn as much as possible…….
Teacher: (Makes dumb face)
IT Guy: NO, IT’S NOT FIXED YET!
Teacher: Oh, Ok.

Inevitable Computer Issues

Inevitable Computer Issues.pdf
Download this file

This is a document I created, called "Inevitbale Computer Issues", to help teachers setup their computers when they first come back to school.  It almost got me fired.

Why did you change my password?

Teacher:  “IT Guy, I can’t login…..why did you change my password?”
IT Guy: “Why would I change your password?”
Teacher: (Read with a smug voice) “I don’t know IT Guy you tell me?”  then laugh like an uncomfortable nerd….
IT Guy: “Let me rephrase….I didn’t change your password”
Teacher: “You must have….I always use the same one”
IT Guy: “Actually, I almost never randomly change passwords.  It actually creates more work for me not to mention annoying conversations like this. Why don’t I reset it for you.  Can you type it in here”
Teacher: Ok……what did I use last year.  I can’t remember”