VCR and the Regurgitated Food Spot

Student: Can you come down, Mrs. ***** needs help
IT Guy: Is it 10am already?  Ok.
Teacher: I need the VCR to work
IT Guy: Did you turn it on?
Teacher: I tried
IT Guy: And?
Teacher: I’m not going to be here tomorrow
IT Guy: What does that have to do with anything?
Teacher: I want to make sure it works
IT Guy: IS IT ON?
Teacher: I don’t know
IT Guy: (Pushes on button) It was off
Teacher: What did you push?
IT Guy: The ON button
Teacher: Oh, I thought it was this smudge here?  See?
IT Guy: You thought that smudge was the ON button?  For real?
Teacher: Yeah, it looks like a button
IT Guy: No it doesn’t.  It looks someone spit up chewed potato chips on it.  Why would you even touch that?
Teacher: Well you fixed it.  You have the magical touch
IT Guy: I just turned it on.
Teacher: Thanks again for fixing it
IT Guy: Ok. Next time hit the ON button instead of the regurgitated food spot.

Teachers Strike Back

Teacher submitted Story:While I empathize with the trials of an IT support person to handle the idiocies of faculty from the other side of the digital divide, I must say it is not just teachers who posses the unique power to test the patience of those of us who happen to know where the power button is located. Without further ado, my best “I fear for the future” stories:

 

1. Student: “Why do we have to double space? It looks hella bad.”
    Me: Why are you putting two spaces between each word?


2. Student: (very seriously)what kind of car did Shakespeare drive? (she was 15)


3. Student: My links in PowerPoint won’t click.
    Me: Did you remember to press -enter- after?


4. Upon working in a classroom next to a cell phone jammer, the kids freaked out:
Kid: (bangs cell phone against desk)
Other kid:is this a terrorist attack.

 

So teachers+ kids= 🙁

……and the teachers are on the board.

Students 2 – Teachers-1

Printer Doesn’t Work

Teacher: “IT Guy, the printer you just installed doesn’t work….what’s wrong?”

IT Guy: “Did you put paper in it?”

Teacher: “Oh, no……I didn’t think of that”

IT Guy: “Of course you didn’t…….why would you when you can run over here and tell me.

Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy

My office is apparently a garbage dump

Cimg0113

I came in this morning and found out a teacher was in my office looking for a “cord”.  Here is how I found it when I came in.  Sadly, I doubt they even found what she was looking for……