Help Desk Ticket #1

 

Caller: Mrs. V’s computer will not shut down and she was wondering if someone could come take a look at it.

 

Support: Did you try pushing the power button?

 

Caller: No, let me do that………………….the screen went black but it’s still making noise.

 

Support: Did you push the monitor power button or on the tower?

 

Caller: The screen.

 

Support: Please try the power button on the Tower.

 

Caller:  That did it.  Thanks for fixing it.

 

The Computer should be able to do that – #1

I have a whole series of coming entries where a person that struggles to turn on their computer will suggest that “the computer should be able to do that”.  Here is the first entry:

Secretary: I need to create a report from our school database to automatically create subs for teachers that are out sick

IT Guy: Sorry, our program can not do that

Secretary: Why not?

IT Guy: What do you mean……why not? It wasn’t built that way

Secretary: What if I give you this spreadsheet I printed out

IT Guy: Oh, that will help.  Let me jam it into the CD ROM ………hit the eat button…….. and now the computer is digesting the paper………processing……and there we go………we now have a sub scheduling program.

Secretary: You are an ass.

IT Guy: Yep

 

More Final Exam Fun

Here is a story that happened today during teacher checkout.  In our grading system you have to name to your final exam FINAL, in all caps, for it to be recognized by the system.  I don’t feel this is too much ask but apparently I am mistaken.  I think it is important to note that we have had this particular grading program for 5 years now and have discussed the misnaming of the Final Exam in depth.  Incredibly, it has little to no effect.

Teacher: How come my Final exams did not show up on my grade verification sheets?

IT Guy: Did you name the Final Exam column “FINAL”

Teacher: Yep, I did them all the same and it showed up on my other classes.

IT Guy: Fine, I’ll look………………here is the problem.  Despite you adamently defending the fact that you put FINAL in all your columns this one clearly says EXAM.  Why did you decide to do one different than the other?

Teacher:  I don’t think I did.  Not sure how that happened.

IT Guy: Incredible. 

Teacher: Do you want me to redo it?

IT Guy: No, I want to do all your grades myself because you haven’t learned how this program works in the HALF A DECADE we have used it.

The case of the crazy pop ups

Phone call….

Teacher: “IT Guy, whenever I try to send an email all kinds of weird things pop-up”

IT Guy: “I don’t know what that means”

Teacher: “Just stuff, things pop-up……on the screen. Ya know what I’m saying”

IT Guy: “No, I haven’t a clue”

Teacher: “Oh wait, I think I got it.  I’ll call you back if there are any more problems.

IT Guy: “Ok, good luck sending your email”

Phone Call 2….

Teacher: “Hi IT Guy, it’s me again”

IT Guy: “I can read”

Teacher: “Those things are popping up again…..can you come look?”

IT Guy: “I’d love too.”

Arrival…….

Teacher: “Oh, hi”

IT Guy: “Why are you surprised?  You invited me down here”

Teacher: “Oh yeah!  Here watch……begins typing email to xxxxx@gmail – as she types the first three letters “things” start popping up:
1.            screen refreshes
2.            bookmarks appear on left side of screen
3.            print option box appears

See IT Guy!  What is the issue?

IT Guy: “To be honest I have never seen anything like this before but my best guess is that perhaps the GIANT binder you have placed on your keyboard is perhaps holding down the “Ctrl” key along with most of the alphabet.

Teacher: Oh, that’s it!  You are so smart IT Guy!

IT Guy: “hahaha….yeah……you’re not. Try not to burn the building down when you attach your document to the email.  Bye!”