Copy Machine Genius

Teacher: Can you help me, I have been trying for 15 minutes to unjam the copy machine?
IT Guy: Did you follow the directions?
Teacher: Yes, exactly…
IT Guy: Ok, let me see.  Open door 2 and …… here it is
Teacher:  Oh, I didn’t look there. How did you know of this magical spot.
IT Guy: Well, I looked at the pretty screen on top.  If you look right here next to STEP 1 it says OPEN DOOR 2.  Next, I explored the facade of the machine to find the door with this symbol (2) on it.  From there I gathered that it must be door two. Then I grabbed the little knob, opened the door and amongst all the gears and plastic pieces I looked for a flat, white object that looks like paper. When I located the object I used my fingers to remove it thusly.  
Teacher: Oh, I have trouble with this machine
IT Guy:  Yeah……this machine.  Don’t worry I have a Masters degree in direction reading and copy machine unjamming.  It takes a highly educated person to follow blinking directions.

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Quote of the Day :: 9/6/11

The scene: After trying to get online for 5 minutes a student realizes the machine is unplugged from the network.  The student then hands the unplugged end of the network cord to the teacher.  After examining it for 30 seconds or so the teacher shouts across the room.

"Hey IT Guy, do you think this has something to do with the problem"

Why did you change my password?

Teacher:  “IT Guy, I can’t login…..why did you change my password?”
IT Guy: “Why would I change your password?”
Teacher: (Read with a smug voice) “I don’t know IT Guy you tell me?”  then laugh like an uncomfortable nerd….
IT Guy: “Let me rephrase….I didn’t change your password”
Teacher: “You must have….I always use the same one”
IT Guy: “Actually, I almost never randomly change passwords.  It actually creates more work for me not to mention annoying conversations like this. Why don’t I reset it for you.  Can you type it in here”
Teacher: Ok……what did I use last year.  I can’t remember”

Final Exams

When you create a Final Exam column in our online gradebooks you are prompted to enter the semester in which the exam grade should apply.  There are three options “1, 2 and Y”.  If the exam goes with the first semester you type 1, if it is second semester you type 2.  The “Y” is for “Yes”.  I have no clue what the “Y” is for but the teachers for whatever reason are enamored with it.

Teacher: Hey IT Guy, just wanted to confirm that when I put in the exam I choose “Yes”, correct?

IT Guy: No, why would you choose “Yes”.  What are you agreeing to?
Teacher: The Final

IT Guy: You think your gradebook is asking you to agree to a Final?
Teacher: Yes.

IT Guy: Well it’s not.  If you read the question that you are answering in the affirmative you would see it asks you which Semester this Exam applies.  Essentially your dialogue went like this” Which semester does this Exam apply to.” “Yes”
Teacher: Oh, so what is the answer?

IT Guy: Which semester are we in?
Teacher: Oh. Fourth.
IT Guy: We don’t have a fourth semester
Teacher: Oh yeah.  Sorry, second.
IT Guy: Great job.

 

New Printer Not Working

Teacher: “IT Guy, the printer you just installed doesn’t work….what’s wrong?”

IT Guy: “Did you put paper in it?”

Teacher: “Oh, no……I didn’t think of that”

IT Guy: ” Of course you didn’t…….why would you when you can run over here and tell me.