My office is apparently a garbage dump

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I came in this morning and found out a teacher was in my office looking for a “cord”.  Here is how I found it when I came in.  Sadly, I doubt they even found what she was looking for……

IT vs the Volunteers

 

Volunteer:  I need to install some software – can you do it? 

IT Guy: Actually, I’m kind of busy….can you just throw it into your CD ROM and keep clicking next

Volunteer: I don’t know…….I guess I can try

IT Guy: Thanks…..you are very brave

Volunteer: Ok, I’ll call you back when I’m in front of the computer

IT Guy: But….why?

**CLICK***


Volunteerr: Ok, I am in front of the computer.

IT Guy: Great, put the disk in

Volunteer:  I can’t find the computer

IT Guy: What do you mean?  You just said you were in front of it.

Volunteer: I am but I can’t see the hard drive.

IT Guy: Can’t see the hard drive, huh?  How bout that?   Did you look on the floor.

Volunteer: I sure did and on the desk.

IT Guy: Good thinking.  Ok, well there is a three foot cord connecting the monitor to it.  Can you circle the machine in a three foot circumference till you step on it.

Volunteer: No

IT: Of course not, I’ll be right there.


**************************


Volunteer: I think someone might have moved the computer

IT Guy: Actually, it’s right here.  The monitor is sitting on top of i

Volunteer: Oh, that is the computer

IT guy: It sure is…..you giant idiot.  Just throw the CD in it and hit next

Volunteer: Where does the CD go?

IT Guy:  Why don’t I just do it?  You probably won’t be able to find the next button either


 


 

Is my computer dead?

Teacher: Hey, I think my computer might have died over the summer

IT Guy: Why is that?
Teacher: I’ve hit the power switch five times and the screen is black
IT Guy: Is the monitor on?
Teacher: I don’t know…..I guess
IT Guy: Well that is kind of important
Teacher: Can you take a look?
IT Guy: I guess it is the only way we will solve this mystery

 

Walk down to classroom

 

Teacher: Here it is……think it was lightning?
IT Guy: Nope.  I think is the fact that you turned off your power strip.  The one that is sitting next to your computer.

Email List in “the Computer”

Teacher: I have this list of emails I wrote down.  How can I get them in the computer?

IT Guy: You could type them.

Teacher: I don’t want to do that…..is there anyway else?

IT Guy: No, nothing that would be faster

Teacher: I thought computers could do that?

IT Guy: You might be thinking of magic wands.  They can do that.

Teacher: So, I have to type them.

IT Guy: Or call them on the phone…..your choice.

Teacher: Fine.

The Nun and the Integer

At our school, a students 2nd semester grade is a concoction of their 3rd qtr, 4th qtr, and Final Exam grades weighted 40, 40, 20 respectively.  Pretty straightforward I thought.

Sister : IT Guy, I can’t change my weighting.
IT Guy: Did you click the “Change” button?
Sister: No, should I try it?
IT Guy: yep, let’s give it a go
Sister: It didn’t work
IT Guy: What do you mean it didn’t work?  Was there an error message?
Sister: Yeah, do you want me to read it?
IT Guy: No, thanks……I can see it through the phone
Sister: Oh, ok………………….it says “invalid, expected integer”
IT Guy: Did you put a number in the box?
Sister: Yep!
IT Guy: I think I’ll come down for this one

IT Guy: Well Sister, here is the problem.  It turns out ” 1  100.00.00″ is not an integer.  In fact no number known to man starts with a space, has intermittent spaces through out and has 2 decimal points.  Why is you final exam worth  1  100.00.00 when everyone else’s is worth 20%

Sister: Oh, I see……how did I do that?
IT Guy: I don’t know, Sister.  It’s truly a mystery.