Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?


IT Guy:

So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy

Storage Bin

IT : phone rings* IT this is….

College staff: Someone deleted my trash folder in my email

IT: Yes trashed gets purged every 30days

College staff: But I store my files in there ?!

PE Teacher Explains International Politics

Student submitted Story:  

A bit of background first, essentially this guy was “teaching” class one day when some girl piped up with a question about war and why we would enter into one. This is what he said:

Teacher: “its like this, say a larger country like China started to pick on a smaller country like Puerto Rico. The U.S. would go to war to defend the smaller country.”

Student: Raising my hand. “ummm Puerto Rico is U.S. Territory, if China attacked it we would have to go to war.” 

Teacher:  “Shut up”

Following Directions

The Directions

If a student is exempt from the Final Exam leave the two astericks in the cell and the exam will not be calcualated into their Final Grade

Teacher: Ok, my grades are in

IT Guy: Congratulations

Teacher: I think I did them all right

IT Guy: You are so kind

Teacher: Is it OK that I put an X in the Final Exam column for exempt students?

IT Guy: No, you are suppose to leave the astericks. Did you see the directions?

Teacher: Yeah.  But I like the X’s

IT Guy: Are you serious?

Teacher: Why can’t I put an X?

IT Guy: I have no idea, that is how the software was made.  Why does it matter?

Teacher: I like X. It means exempt.

IT Guy: Actually it means the kid got an X on his Final Exam.  Additionally, why does X mean exempt?  Why not EX?

Teacher: X is faster.

IT Guy: It sure is.  You are genius!

Teacher: So should I change it back?  Or should we just see it works?

IT Guy: Unless you want to explain to the parents why their Final Grades are algebraic expressions please follow the directions without editing them for efficiency and/or stupidity.