Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.

Following Directions

The Directions

If a student is exempt from the Final Exam leave the two astericks in the cell and the exam will not be calcualated into their Final Grade

Teacher: Ok, my grades are in

IT Guy: Congratulations

Teacher: I think I did them all right

IT Guy: You are so kind

Teacher: Is it OK that I put an X in the Final Exam column for exempt students?

IT Guy: No, you are suppose to leave the astericks. Did you see the directions?

Teacher: Yeah.  But I like the X’s

IT Guy: Are you serious?

Teacher: Why can’t I put an X?

IT Guy: I have no idea, that is how the software was made.  Why does it matter?

Teacher: I like X. It means exempt.

IT Guy: Actually it means the kid got an X on his Final Exam.  Additionally, why does X mean exempt?  Why not EX?

Teacher: X is faster.

IT Guy: It sure is.  You are genius!

Teacher: So should I change it back?  Or should we just see it works?

IT Guy: Unless you want to explain to the parents why their Final Grades are algebraic expressions please follow the directions without editing them for efficiency and/or stupidity.

Email List in “the Computer”

Teacher: I have this list of emails I wrote down.  How can I get them in the computer?

IT Guy: You could type them.

Teacher: I don’t want to do that…..is there anyway else?

IT Guy: No, nothing that would be faster

Teacher: I thought computers could do that?

IT Guy: You might be thinking of magic wands.  They can do that.

Teacher: So, I have to type them.

IT Guy: Or call them on the phone…..your choice.

Teacher: Fine.

My office is apparently a garbage dump

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I came in this morning and found out a teacher was in my office looking for a “cord”.  Here is how I found it when I came in.  Sadly, I doubt they even found what she was looking for……

Teachers are Pack Animals

In my time working at a school I have discovered that teachers are for the most part pack animals. Everything they do is in some sort of little group.  This is evidenced by the fact any time a teacher has a computer issue five other people will report it before the person with the actual problem. Sadly, the actual issue the other pack members report is almost never the real problem.  

It usually unfolds something like this:

IT Guy, did you hear Mrs. X is having trouble with their online gradebooks

that usually morphs into something like

IT Guy, Mrs. X can not turn on her computer because she has a virus

followed by the catch all diagnosis

IT Guy, the server must be down

This syndrome reminds of the famous Purple Monkey Dishwasher scene from the Simpsons.