IT : phone rings* IT this is….College staff: Someone deleted my trash folder in my email IT: Yes trashed gets purged every 30days College staff: But I store my files in there ?!
Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts. We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted
IT Guy: Sure. Send me a list
Secretary: Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?
IT Guy: What? You want me to turn off the entire school?
IT Guy: Why?
Secretary: So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet
IT Guy: You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?
Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that…….
IT Guy: Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy
Student submitted Story:
A bit of background first, essentially this guy was “teaching” class one day when some girl piped up with a question about war and why we would enter into one. This is what he said:
Teacher: “its like this, say a larger country like China started to pick on a smaller country like Puerto Rico. The U.S. would go to war to defend the smaller country.”
Student: Raising my hand. “ummm Puerto Rico is U.S. Territory, if China attacked it we would have to go to war.”
Teacher: “Shut up”
If a student is exempt from the Final Exam leave the two astericks in the cell and the exam will not be calcualated into their Final Grade
Teacher: Ok, my grades are in
IT Guy: Congratulations
Teacher: I think I did them all right
IT Guy: You are so kind
Teacher: Is it OK that I put an X in the Final Exam column for exempt students?
IT Guy: No, you are suppose to leave the astericks. Did you see the directions?
Teacher: Yeah. But I like the X’s
IT Guy: Are you serious?
Teacher: Why can’t I put an X?
IT Guy: I have no idea, that is how the software was made. Why does it matter?
Teacher: I like X. It means exempt.
IT Guy: Actually it means the kid got an X on his Final Exam. Additionally, why does X mean exempt? Why not EX?
Teacher: X is faster.
IT Guy: It sure is. You are genius!
Teacher: So should I change it back? Or should we just see it works?
IT Guy: Unless you want to explain to the parents why their Final Grades are algebraic expressions please follow the directions without editing them for efficiency and/or stupidity.
This is not actually a teacher story but it is from a school. A secretary shared this parent interaction with me this morning.
Parent: Hi, Secretary my son is sending me texts from the bathroom.
Secretary: Ok, what do you want me to do? Take his phone away?
Parent: Well, no……he has diarhea.
Secretary: Ok……..that is too bad. What would you like me to do?
Parent: I would like you to tell him to come home.
Secretary: I can’t go in the boys bathroom.
Parent: Oh yeah, I will text him and tell him to come see you
Secretary: Ok, please ask him to wash his hands. Thanks.