Technological Relic

TEACHER: IT Guy, here ya go.
IT GUY: What is that?
TEACHER: It’s an old overhead projector I found in my closet
IT GUY: I don’t want that
TEACHER: Why not?
IT GUY: What the hell am I going to do with it?
TEACHER: This is the IT Office, right?
IT GUY: That is correct. It is NOT a museum. Please take your archaic relic to the nearest museum or, perhaps a better solution, a dumpster
TEACHER: It still works
IT GUY: So do 8-Track players but we finally stopped you from using those last year.
TEACHER: So, can I leave it here?
IT GUY: NO!

This little piggy broke my computer?

Teacher: Help, Help, Help!  My grades were do 2 hours ago and I can’t turn my computer on.

IT Guy: Explain

Teacher: I keep getting this message:  Attempting to boot from USB device

IT Guy: Do you have a Flash drive in your computer

Teacher: Not that I can see

IT Guy: Did you look?

Teacher: Will you just come down????

IT Guy: Sure

———————————————-

Teacher: See…it won’t boot

IT Guy: I thought you checked for a Flash drives

Teacher: I did

IT Guy: Then what is this….?

Teacher: Oh, that’s my pig

IT Guy: IT’S A FLASH DRIVE!

Teacher: Oh, yeah.  I must have missed it

IT Guy: Yeah……lots of things on the computer look like little pig heads.

 

 

Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy