Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy

Teachers Helping Me Out

Often teachers drop garbage off at my office….usually when I am taking a dump…….and pretend they are doing me a favor.  In actuality, they are just cleaning excess trash out of their classrooms and my office just happens to be closer than the dumpsters. Additionally, anything with a plug is considered to be technology, for example, a toaster.  Here is a piece of garbage I found at my door one morning.

I still have no clue what that thing was……now it’s trash.

Why is the Office Closed?

Teacher: Why is the office closed?

IT Guy: They leave at 1:00

Teacher: But it’s only 1:30

IT Guy:  What?

Teacher: It’s only 1:30……do they pack right up and leave?

IT Guy: I would…….to avoid having conversations like this.

Teacher: That’s kind of ridiculous

IT Guy: Just to confirm.  It is ridiculous that you, a person who does not work in the summer, sat at home until the office was closed then came to school and expected them to be here waiting for you………or that they are not here 30 minutes after closing time?

Teacher: You are a jerk

IT Guy: I know……and you are making me regret I didn’t leave at closing time……or as you call it “early”.

Following Directions

The Directions

If a student is exempt from the Final Exam leave the two astericks in the cell and the exam will not be calcualated into their Final Grade

Teacher: Ok, my grades are in

IT Guy: Congratulations

Teacher: I think I did them all right

IT Guy: You are so kind

Teacher: Is it OK that I put an X in the Final Exam column for exempt students?

IT Guy: No, you are suppose to leave the astericks. Did you see the directions?

Teacher: Yeah.  But I like the X’s

IT Guy: Are you serious?

Teacher: Why can’t I put an X?

IT Guy: I have no idea, that is how the software was made.  Why does it matter?

Teacher: I like X. It means exempt.

IT Guy: Actually it means the kid got an X on his Final Exam.  Additionally, why does X mean exempt?  Why not EX?

Teacher: X is faster.

IT Guy: It sure is.  You are genius!

Teacher: So should I change it back?  Or should we just see it works?

IT Guy: Unless you want to explain to the parents why their Final Grades are algebraic expressions please follow the directions without editing them for efficiency and/or stupidity.