Secretary: You have me hooked in to your Gmail.
IT Guy: I am pretty busy. Can’t you do it?
Teacher: I don’t know how
IT Guy: Do you know how to plug in your toaster?
IT Guy: then I think you can handle this
Teacher: Hi, I just wanted to check that our new group web page will work
IT Guy: What do you mean work?
Teacher: On the system?
IT Guy: The system?
Teacher: Yeah, our new web page
IT Guy: What are we talking about?
Teacher: I want to know if our webpage will work at school?
IT Guy: Are you asking me if you can view a webpage at school?
Teacher: yes…..our new one.
IT Guy: Yes. We have internet access.
Student submitted: Well played. These guys are lucky they didn’t get the other teacher in serious trouble……and themselves sued. Definitely a point awarded to the students.
The following story occurred when I was a senior in highs school. Some back story to preface the hilarity. I sat in the back row next to a fellow class clown of mine. This class was notoriously rowdy and out of control, and we would often torture substitutes who were filling in for our primary teacher, who I presume was taking work off instead of coming and murdering us instead. At some point during the begging of the class, my classmates pick-pocketed the cellphone of a girl from her purse and proceeded to pass it back to me to “do something funny with it.” I decided to download a sex ringtone on the phone (which is only a woman’s moans during intercourse and climax), and turn the volume to max. I then passed the phone to my buddy who stashed it behind a book in the bookshelf behind us. Repeatedly throughout the class, we would continue to call the phone and enjoy our classmates laughter at the highly inappropriate sexual noises. Our substitute was wildly incompetent and at first thought it was us impersonating a woman making these noises. After about the 6th time, she eventually walked back between both of our desks and demanded that we hand “our video games over.” We showed her our empty hands and with a stone face, told her the teacher in the adjacent room (behind ours) has a habit of watching adult movies loudly during his lunch break (which was so ridiculous, I thought she wouldn’t buy it and our fun would be over). Surprisingly, this was a suitable explanation for her. She then proceeded to call the main office to levy a formal complaint against this teacher, as we continued to call the phone. The following day, our primary teacher returned furious and gave me and some others detention. Worth it.
IT Guy: If I switch over the grading system teachers’ gradebooks will be unavailable for the rest of the day. Are you OK with that?
IT Guy: Are you sure? None of the teachers will be able to make any changes till tomorrow? You are cool with that? I can not switch it back till tomorrow.
Teacher: Yep, no problem.
IT Guy: Ok, I will make the switch.
(12 minutes later the phone rings)
Teacher: I am trying to access my gradebooks and it said they are not available. What’s wrong??????
IT Guy: Are your serious? We just had this converstation like 10 minutes ago.
Teacher: We did? How come I can’t see my gradebooks?
IT Guy: I turned them off. I JUST TOLD YOU THAT!
Teacher: Oh, can you turn them back on?
IT Guy: No
Teacher: But, I NEED them now.
IT Guy: I told you can not do that until tomorrow and you said it was fine.
Teacher: But I didn’t need them then……now I do.
IT Guy: My apologies. I don’t think I did a very good job explaining this to you the first time. Tell you what, grab some colored chalk and meet me in room 205. I will see if I can diagram the meaning of “Stupid” and “NO” for you in pictures. (Click)