How do they get these jobs?

Story submitted by another IT Guy.  He feels my pain.

Teacher: The computer is dark, and wont come on. What is wrong?

IT Guy: Do you see any lights on the computer?

Teacher: No, what do I do?

IT Guy: Turn it on?

Teacher: Okay, that fixed it, thanks!

Lifetime Logins


Teacher: Can you reset my login?
IT Guy: What login? You left here 3 years ago?.
Teacher: Do you get rid of those?
IT Guy: No, we keep them forever.  That’s how we keep track of who use to work here.
Teacher: What?
IT Guy: Let me put it this way…..do you keep the keys to your house when you move out?
Teacher: I live in a condo.
IT Guy: WHAT???!

Fix it yet?

Of my many pet peeves pertaining to teachers “Fix it yet?” is among the top.  Teachers need constant updates on the status of computer repairs.  You would think the mere fact that I am sitting in their classroom would suggest the issue is not corrected but regardless they pepper me with questions in regular intervals.  For example, the following is a pretty standard “Fix it yet?” interaction.

 

Teacher: Hey, IT Guy……..my computer is broken.
IT Guy: Shocking

Teacher: Can you fix it?
IT Guy: I’ll give it a go.

40 seconds pass…. 
 


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: Nope.

Teacher: Do you know what’s wrong with it

IT Guy: No, it is still booting up….go away.

57.4 seconds pass


Teacher: Fix it yet?
IT Guy: NO!
Teacher: Told you it wasn’t me.
IT Guy: Actually, I’m almost certain you caused the……
Teacher: Yep, not me…..

90 seconds later

Teacher: So you got it fixed yet?
IT Guy: Yep, fixed it along time ago…..I was just so enthralled by your lecture on proper typing posture that I wanted to stay and learn as much as possible…….
Teacher: (Makes dumb face)
IT Guy: NO, IT’S NOT FIXED YET!
Teacher: Oh, Ok.

Gmail Debacle Update

Secretary: How do I setup my printers in gmail?

IT: You can't setup printers in gmail….besides I already set it up
Secretary: It says print to Laserjet 3 – that's not my printer
IT: yes it is
Secretary: No it's not, I already tried it several times 
IT: Do it again
Secretary: Ok, see it doesn't…..oh there it goes.  What did you do?
IT: (Click)

Teachers are Pack Animals

In my time working at a school I have discovered that teachers are for the most part pack animals. Everything they do is in some sort of little group.  This is evidenced by the fact any time a teacher has a computer issue five other people will report it before the person with the actual problem. Sadly, the actual issue the other pack members report is almost never the real problem.  

It usually unfolds something like this:

IT Guy, did you hear Mrs. X is having trouble with their online gradebooks

that usually morphs into something like

IT Guy, Mrs. X can not turn on her computer because she has a virus

followed by the catch all diagnosis

IT Guy, the server must be down

This syndrome reminds of the famous Purple Monkey Dishwasher scene from the Simpsons.