Student submitted Story: After moving to a new school my freshman year of high school, I had the privilege to endure a brand new teacher’s first attempt at social studies. First order of business, she proceeded to inform the class about Canada’s national capitol Toronto. Apparently, I was the only one in the class smart enough to explain she was wrong, the national capitol was in fact Ottawa. We argued for close to 20 minutes over, what I thought, was a well known fact. Finally, exasperated, I pulled out the social studies textbook and showed her where it says the national capitol is Ottawa and Toronto is the capitol of Ontario. She saved face by saying that was “stupid”. I thought that would be the final argument for the day but I was wrong. Promptly, she began talking about Canada’s national sport being Hockey. I sighed and again confronted her. Hockey is not our national sport, it is Lacrosse. Again, an argument ensued. I only let it go on for about 10 minutes this time, then promptly opened up old faithful textbook to reveal she was, in fact, wrong. again. Of course this time she couldn’t let me win and announced that if anyone answered on a test that Hockey was the national sport, she would mark them correct.
At our school, a students 2nd semester grade is a concoction of their 3rd qtr, 4th qtr, and Final Exam grades weighted 40, 40, 20 respectively. Pretty straightforward I thought.
Sister : IT Guy, I can’t change my weighting.
IT Guy: Did you click the “Change” button?
Sister: No, should I try it?
IT Guy: yep, let’s give it a go
Sister: It didn’t work
IT Guy: What do you mean it didn’t work? Was there an error message?
Sister: Yeah, do you want me to read it?
IT Guy: No, thanks……I can see it through the phone
Sister: Oh, ok………………….it says “invalid, expected integer”
IT Guy: Did you put a number in the box?
IT Guy: I think I’ll come down for this one IT Guy: Well Sister, here is the problem. It turns out ” 1 100.00.00″ is not an integer. In fact no number known to man starts with a space, has intermittent spaces through out and has 2 decimal points. Why is you final exam worth 1 100.00.00 when everyone else’s is worth 20% Sister: Oh, I see……how did I do that?
IT Guy: I don’t know, Sister. It’s truly a mystery.
Office worker: You might think this is a dumb question but the fax confirmation sheet says the result is “OK”. Does that mean it went through?
IT Guy: Yes and Yes.
Student submitted: Well played. These guys are lucky they didn’t get the other teacher in serious trouble……and themselves sued. Definitely a point awarded to the students.
The following story occurred when I was a senior in highs school. Some back story to preface the hilarity. I sat in the back row next to a fellow class clown of mine. This class was notoriously rowdy and out of control, and we would often torture substitutes who were filling in for our primary teacher, who I presume was taking work off instead of coming and murdering us instead. At some point during the begging of the class, my classmates pick-pocketed the cellphone of a girl from her purse and proceeded to pass it back to me to “do something funny with it.” I decided to download a sex ringtone on the phone (which is only a woman’s moans during intercourse and climax), and turn the volume to max. I then passed the phone to my buddy who stashed it behind a book in the bookshelf behind us. Repeatedly throughout the class, we would continue to call the phone and enjoy our classmates laughter at the highly inappropriate sexual noises. Our substitute was wildly incompetent and at first thought it was us impersonating a woman making these noises. After about the 6th time, she eventually walked back between both of our desks and demanded that we hand “our video games over.” We showed her our empty hands and with a stone face, told her the teacher in the adjacent room (behind ours) has a habit of watching adult movies loudly during his lunch break (which was so ridiculous, I thought she wouldn’t buy it and our fun would be over). Surprisingly, this was a suitable explanation for her. She then proceeded to call the main office to levy a formal complaint against this teacher, as we continued to call the phone. The following day, our primary teacher returned furious and gave me and some others detention. Worth it.