You have me hooked in to your gmail

Secretary: You have me hooked in to your Gmail.

IT Guy: What?
Secretary: How can I get in to mine?
IT Guy: You have to log me out then log yourself in
Secretary: That won’t work, I had Pete help me, we can’t find it
IT Guy: Try harder (click)

Secretary arrives in my office 5 minutes later with a pad of paper and pen

Secretary: I can’t figure it out.  Can you show me how to do it.
IT Guy: Why do you have a pad of paper?  You click SIGN OUT in the upper right corner
Secretary while writng: Ok, let’s see upper right corner…….Sign Out…..then what.
IT: YOU SIGN IN!
Secretary: Ok, with what…….?
IT:  YOUR LOGIN?
Secretary: Oh, ok…..with mine…….

Another Example of the Power of Need

Another example of a teacher deploying the Power of Need:

Teacher: Do you know if the summer school gradebooks and class pages will be available soon?

IT Guy: I can’t upload those until the schedule for next year is complete.  I will send them out as soon as I can.

Teacher: When will that be?

IT Guy: Not sure.  Ask the schedule person.

Teacher: Ok.  But I really NEED to work on those class pages

IT Guy: Gotcha.  Ask the scheduling person. I can’t do it till they are finished.

Teacher: Ok. But do you think the schedule will be done soon.

IT Guy:  I have no idea.  Ask the scheduling person.

Teacher: I will but I just really NEED to get a head start.  Let me tell you why….

IT Guy: No.  Don’t tell me why….it is entirely moot.  I can not do anything until the schedule is done.  The amount of NEED is entirely irrelevant. We have gone over this three times.

Teacher:  But you don’t understand.  Let me tell you why I NEED them.

IT Guy:  NO!  It has no bearing on you getting them.  At this moment the options are not having classes next year or you having your stupid class pages three weeks in advance so you can add ridiculous animated pictures of Einstein blowing himself up.  Essentially, we would destroy our school to save you the 2.4 minutes it takes to add those stupid animations.  Try medication instead.

Computer Should be Able to Do that #2

Secretary: We have some holds to be placed on student accounts.  We need to block some users from viewing online grades till the hold is lifted

IT Guy:
Sure.  Send me a list

Secretary:
Can we just turn off the whole school and I will tell you who to turn back on?

IT Guy: What?  You want me to turn off the entire school?

Secretary:
Yes.

IT Guy:
Why?

Secretary:
So I don’t have to make a spreadsheet

IT Guy:
You want me to block the entire school…..then reinstate almost the entire school………so you don’t have to make a spreadsheet?

Secretary: Yeah, the computer should be able to do that……. 

IT Guy:  Well it can’t…….but people that work in offices SHOULD be able to make spreadsheets. In the mean time I will email support and see if they can build a button that blocks 5% of users and functions via telepathy

Teachers Strike Back

Teacher submitted Story:While I empathize with the trials of an IT support person to handle the idiocies of faculty from the other side of the digital divide, I must say it is not just teachers who posses the unique power to test the patience of those of us who happen to know where the power button is located. Without further ado, my best “I fear for the future” stories:

 

1. Student: “Why do we have to double space? It looks hella bad.”
    Me: Why are you putting two spaces between each word?


2. Student: (very seriously)what kind of car did Shakespeare drive? (she was 15)


3. Student: My links in PowerPoint won’t click.
    Me: Did you remember to press -enter- after?


4. Upon working in a classroom next to a cell phone jammer, the kids freaked out:
Kid: (bangs cell phone against desk)
Other kid:is this a terrorist attack.

 

So teachers+ kids= :(

……and the teachers are on the board.

Students 2 – Teachers-1

Too Much SPAM

I just got a call from a teacher in regard to the amount of SPAM she has been receiving. There are a couple important details I would like to convey before relaying the story.

1. We are out of school.  She took the time during summer break to check her SPAM levels and place a call.
2. Not only did she take the time to make this call.  She did it first thing in the morning.   Almost like she was waiting for me to arrive at work.
3. We host our email through Google. A nice little company who, In my opinion, does a very good job handling SPAM.  You may have heard of them.

Teacher: Hi IT Guy, I have been getting a ton more SPAM in email than usual
IT Guy:  You have?

Teacher: Yeah, there has been a ton.  Has anyone else had that issue?
IT Guy: Nope

Teacher: That’s weird
IT Guy: Did you give out your email anywhere?

Teacher: No, I never do
IT Guy: Are you looking at ALL MAIL instead of your INBOX?

Teacher: No, I am looking at the SPAM folder?
IT Guy: WHAT? Why are you looking at that?  That’s where SPAM is suppose to goThat is why they call it a SPAM FOLDER!

Teacher: I always look at it.  Usually there is only one a day.  But the last couple days I have had 3 or so
IT Guy: Yeah…..SPAM folders are fun to look at.  So let me get this straight, you routinely count the amount of junk messages in your SPAM folder, found an increase, and took the time to call me about it?

Teacher: Yeah, do you think it’s ok?
IT Guy: Hard to be sure.  I will contact the FBI, you better call the Secret Service.  I don’t know who is sending these dastardly emails directly to your SPAM folder but I will not rest until I find the culprit.  So, for my notes……you said it was 3 emails PER DAY?

Teacher: Yeah, 3
IT Guy: I’m on it. (CLICK)